Too much

It has been a while since I last posted something on the blog, the words havent really come to me for a few reasons I guess.
One reason being that not very much is happening right now, there is no weird man to waste time on, my dreams are no longer haunted and my heart has stopped aching a long time ago. So everything is calm and I guess in some peoples opinion - boring. But I dont mind, I quite enjoy just being.
Not fretting or worrying, and feeling stressed for different reasons.

I have however come to realise that I have been naive and rather stupid actually.
I used to think - well I still think to be honest - that some people are a bit too open and share a bit too much of their lives on social networking sites such as Facebook or Twitter. You get fed intimate details of their love life and family members, to the extent that I end up feeling like I have been eavesdropping on a very private conversation.
Then I realised that I had done exactly the same, only I did it here, on my blog.
I was emotionally slutty, and I shared to much.
I thought that if I opened my heart completely, poured out the entire content of it and shared my innermost thoughts and feelings, people would treat it and me with respect and maybe love me a little bit more.
Unfortunately but obviously, that was not the case.

I have, for as long as I can remember, said "the more someone knows about you, the easier it is for him to hurt you" and with that I have not let people in and get to know the real me. I have showed a facade of a very strong and fiercly independent woman who didnt need anyone in her life.
So why have I been so open with my feelings here?
I dont actually know..is the honest truth.
I wanted people to understand me, and know what I was all about.
Now I dont really care anymore, it doesnt matter if people understand me or not. I am more open to my friends and the people that I love and at the end of the day, that is what matters, they are the people that matters.
I think there can be a downside to everything, and obviously with me being so open, things have happened that I really dont like, so I have decided not to share too many boring details of my life anymore.

I havent decided exactly what to use this space for, I might show some photographs instead or I will share and practise creative writing. But my heart is now closed for public viewing.

Listen to this song, I love it!