Two months....

I bumped into an old colleague today who with a beaming smile told me "I'm married now! Can you believe it?"
Er actually no I cant....

I told her that I'm moving back to Sweden in two months time and invited her to my leaving party.
After we said goodbye it hit me like thunder...I am leaving, I am actually leaving this place.
In two months time I will be back in Sweden, in my old room in the same house my parents have lived in for 30 odd years.

I am really scared.
And I just don't understand it....
When two people love each other and tell each other they still love each other why cant they work things out?
We don't live in the 17Th century and this is a tragic but oh so romantic love story...
This is us! We live in the 21st century!
He told me not to analyze things that cant be analyzed...
And that he thinks we are ment to be together, just not in this lifetime.

How can i not do that when my heart is still breaking, piece by piece and the pain in my chest is physical pain.
Like someone has stabbed me with a knife and is slowly turning the blade until the point where I can no longer breathe.