A bit lost these days

Am a snot machine today!
he is happy that he got the xbox back and is now locked in the bedroom upstairs with his mindnumbingly boring,braindead, i loose the will to live mate.
Why cant he have normal, decent, half intelligent friends?
Ones that i can actually talk to and possibly find something (even if it is ever such a tiny tiny thing) in common with?
Not that he has much in common with my mates.....and he is so painfully shy that when my mum was here he had stomach cramps and an upset tummy just by pure nevousness.....
How is that gonna work in the future?
With children, and meetings with teachers etc....
And on our wedding day?
Is he gonna just stay outside with his mates and not talk to anyone?
Hmmm

Day.....?

Well, my mum went home yesterday...and I behaved like a 5 year old child...sobbing my heart out and snotting on my boyfriend's shoulder...Pathetic...
Is it because my parents live in a different country, and I dont see them as often that i turn into a very small child when we get together?
But i might have found my wedding dress......exciting.......the shop only had it in a size 8 so there was obviously no hope in hell that i would be able to squeeze my voluptious bogy into it (lol)
BUT they are getting bigger sizes in mid november so I will go in and try it on then!
No chocolate for 2 weeks now!!!!!
Am seriously suffering and missing it but i suppose that is the way it is...

Day 5

Still quite tired...this week has seemed sooooo loooong
Mum coming tomorrow
Yey!
But worried about it not being tidy enough....
She might think im a slob...?
Trying to tidy up tonight...but keep getting distracted
wonder if anyone is actually reading what ive written....?
If they have they must think its crap....
It is pretty crap.....
Cant write....so shouldnt be a writer then.....
Lol
Maybe should have an early night and get some sleep

Day 5

Day 3 (or 4...)

So tired today.....Work was rough...hate going down the country lanes which makes me feel im in "wrong turn"...just waiting for some imbreed to jump out at me with an axe.....
He cooked me dinner today before work.
It was lovely.just wanted to stay there in our little bubble and never come out, just be at peace
Missed xfactor though....
So to proove exactly how sad i am im going to bed now and setting the alarm for 01.50 so i can watch it at 2am......should i admit myself to a hospital where you have to wear a nice white jacket?

day3

Made sticky chocolate cake today.
But he and his friend ate most of it.
Met a really nice woman at work today, so didnt actually mind going to work for an hour on a saturday afternoon...
Bet feel like I could sleep for a week...Thankfully he is home now so I can go to bed and not wait up to let him since the doughnut has lost his keys...
Has anyone ever broke up with a guy who is absolutely perfect?
Loving, caring,kind, funny and a tiger in bed! But his feet smell like a dead rat...?
I am loosing the plot arent I?
Better take yourself off to bed with that book!

Day 1

Today its 364 days until im getting married...Cant really believe it....I still feel like 18 inside...
Some people get married when they are 18...so why cant i?
He is great! I love him!
And i actually know and accept that he loves me...
He is the first one who hasnt told me i should just be greatful to have a boyfriend like him, the first one who hasnt told me that his family dissaproves of me and the first one who hasnt actually cheated on me.....

But now I have to find a dress.....and at size 22 that is not something im very excited about, I should be shouldnt I?
This is the most exciting part of the whole planning process, so they tell me.....
I havent eaten any chocolate today or yesterday.
Im really quite proud of that.....im sitting here in front of the computer and really want to eat something...so ill probably have an apple instead.

Because i really want to walk down that isle in a size 16 dress....how amazing would that be?