Today is the night before our May bank holiday in Sweden.
Tomorrow the streets will be filled with people demonstrating for whatever they feel passionately about, but tonight everyone is out getting drunk and watching the bonfires that symbolises that winter is finished and spring is here.
Another thing we do in Sweden is to "sing in the spring", which happens on the 1st of May every year.
So tomorrow we can watch and listen to choires sing to their hearts content to ecourage the spring to come out with the sunshine and warmth.
Today has been lovely and warm, so hopefully it is here to stay.
It is also our king's birthday today, which I think adds to some people getting drunk.
"Lets toast the king"
"Cheers"
I havent been out to any bonfires today, I've been unpacking and making myself at home in the flat.
When i came in yesterday I said to my mum that there was a funny smell in the flat, like mould, but also like stale smoke and dirty water.
I asked my mum if she could smell it aswell?
But she said it doesnt smell bad, it just smells of another person that has lived here.
I need to put my own smell to the place.
So today I have cleaned and spent time here so to "put my smell on it".
My favourite person in the whole world -Teddy- came down to Malmo today and tomorrow we are meeting up, she will come and see the flat and then we are going for a coffee or a drink and have a long gossip about what has happened since we last saw each other in May last year.
On Saturday we are taking her children somewhere and then having a night in watching a dvd which will be nice.
So I have a good weekend ahead of me.
On Monday I have two interviews, the man that had promised my mum that I had a job over the summer is no longer in charge so he cant guarantee anything anymore, which is a bit pants..but such is life i suppose.
Hopefully something will happen from the meetings on Monday.
Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Thursday 30 April 2009
Wednesday 29 April 2009
First night in new flat
Yes thats right baby.
I'm in my flat, sitting amongst my suitcases and boxes and feeling rather happy.
Ive started the un packing, some from this suitcase, some from that and something else from another box over there.
There is a lot to do, tomorrow..
But I have found a diamond in the bookcase..
Buffy boxset!
How wonderful, I'm so excited!
Its complete with a letter from Joss Wheadon to all the fans, I got one with my Angel boxset aswell, the only difference is that this letter has scared me half to death..
The last line in the letter reads: "Put this boxset on your shelf and go to sleep. It will whisper to you in your sleep"
"???WHATS THAT NOW????????????????????????????????????????????????????
WHO will whisper to me in my sleep??
The vampires??
Or Buffy??
I would like to say now, that everyone should be aware that from tomorrow there will be garlic and crosses hanging by my doors! No one will be welcomed in until Ive dragged a cross over them and i might get some holywater to splash on them aswell...
Tonight no one will come through those doors!
Im off to bed, goodnight.
I'm in my flat, sitting amongst my suitcases and boxes and feeling rather happy.
Ive started the un packing, some from this suitcase, some from that and something else from another box over there.
There is a lot to do, tomorrow..
But I have found a diamond in the bookcase..
Buffy boxset!
How wonderful, I'm so excited!
Its complete with a letter from Joss Wheadon to all the fans, I got one with my Angel boxset aswell, the only difference is that this letter has scared me half to death..
The last line in the letter reads: "Put this boxset on your shelf and go to sleep. It will whisper to you in your sleep"
"???WHATS THAT NOW????????????????????????????????????????????????????
WHO will whisper to me in my sleep??
The vampires??
Or Buffy??
I would like to say now, that everyone should be aware that from tomorrow there will be garlic and crosses hanging by my doors! No one will be welcomed in until Ive dragged a cross over them and i might get some holywater to splash on them aswell...
Tonight no one will come through those doors!
Im off to bed, goodnight.
Monday 27 April 2009
Dancing deoderants
In Sweden the "Eurovision song contest" is as big as "X factor" or "American Idol", or no actually it is the lead up TO the Eurovision that is big. Who will represent Sweden this year?
When I lived in Sweden this competition was a Saturday night in February (normally) 10-12 songs and then a jury voted for the songs they liked the most.
Things have however changed, and nowadays it consists of competitions all over Sweden and I THINK the people will phone in and vote for their favourite...But don't quote me on that..I might be wrong.
This year Sweden is being represented by a profesional opera singer, who sings a song with a "rock beat" but still in her "opera voice".
It sounds better than how Im describing it...
Every Monday for the next four weeks leading up to Eurovision they are showing all the songs from the countries and at some point there will be a semi finale (I don't know how this all works..) to decide who will actually compete in the big Eurovision songcontest finale. (Since Europe now is so big, with countries within countries, that used to be one country but are now devided into 14 countries...every country in Europe cant compete, hence the quater finale and semi finale...)
So tonight was the second "show" or "episode" whatever you want to call it and they finished off with playing the song that represented (and WON!!) Sweden in 1982.
The presenter said: "Ok so here they are the dancing deoderants"
Dancing deoderants?
Must remember to tell my dad that...bet he will find it just as funny as "Break your foot you Danish bastard"
I will leave you with the dancing deoderants, judge for yourself...
And sorry, could only find the Swedish version, so if you dont speak Swedish, just watch them dance and listen to the music, dont concentrate on the fact that you cant understand what they are singing.
When I lived in Sweden this competition was a Saturday night in February (normally) 10-12 songs and then a jury voted for the songs they liked the most.
Things have however changed, and nowadays it consists of competitions all over Sweden and I THINK the people will phone in and vote for their favourite...But don't quote me on that..I might be wrong.
This year Sweden is being represented by a profesional opera singer, who sings a song with a "rock beat" but still in her "opera voice".
It sounds better than how Im describing it...
Every Monday for the next four weeks leading up to Eurovision they are showing all the songs from the countries and at some point there will be a semi finale (I don't know how this all works..) to decide who will actually compete in the big Eurovision songcontest finale. (Since Europe now is so big, with countries within countries, that used to be one country but are now devided into 14 countries...every country in Europe cant compete, hence the quater finale and semi finale...)
So tonight was the second "show" or "episode" whatever you want to call it and they finished off with playing the song that represented (and WON!!) Sweden in 1982.
The presenter said: "Ok so here they are the dancing deoderants"
Dancing deoderants?
Must remember to tell my dad that...bet he will find it just as funny as "Break your foot you Danish bastard"
I will leave you with the dancing deoderants, judge for yourself...
And sorry, could only find the Swedish version, so if you dont speak Swedish, just watch them dance and listen to the music, dont concentrate on the fact that you cant understand what they are singing.
Time with the parents
This weekend have been fairly hectic for my mum, she has worked (although she IS retired) and been to 2 parties (AND she came home late!) so Ive had some time with my dad which was nice.
We havent done much, he came with me to the flat with some things, then we cooked dinner and just chilled out in front of the telly.
Im still not feeling 100%, I'm starting to wonder if I have this pig(?)flu that is spreading all over our planet.
No I havent been to Mexico since 1992, but you never know with these viruses, they have a weird way about them to spread to our immune systems...
Last night anyway, we watched something called "Wipe out", which is similar to those horrendous Japnese game shows where you have to jump in the air and hopefully NOT land in the mud...
I was never a fan of Tachesis castle or whatever the shows were called, but last night I was in stitches and both me and my dad was crying with laughter.
Not because of the contestants but the presenters were HILARIOUS.
They amused us with their wit and funny but somewhat rude comments.
For example, our favourite: "Break your foot, you Danish bastard", when the Danish contestant was close to beating the Swedish contestant.
I try to imagine if this program was showed in England and Jack Dee would say "Break your foot, your Scottish bastard"..
Ofcom would have been under imense pressure and he would have to apologise to all poor scottish people.
My dad left for a conference this morning and woke me to say goodbye at 8am and we still giggled at the "Danish bastard" comment.
So today me and my mum have been up to town, I have opened a savings account that will probably be fairly empty, but at least I will have one.
I was treated to new jeans, before we had a scrumptous lunch where I had a ceasar salad without the parmasan cheese.
It was then time for me to be pampered with a pedicure, I nearly fell asleep and I now feel like im walking on air.
Once home I charged my phone up so I am now officially "with phone" which had to happen at some point didnt it?
And it is good, now I can stay in my flat without feeling too isolated.
That is another thing, I should be moving in to my flat this weekend, either just before or just after.
My mum has taken it upon herself to hang out all my clothes to "get some air through them".
Why is that important I remember asking her when I was a child
"Otherwise the little animals that lives in fabric will eat the clothes"
????
Animals???
Living in my clothes??
To say that I was confused is an understatement, but as I grew up I did learn what sort of animals it was she was talking about, but i still dont see the point of ruin my very careful packing of my suitcases that were mixed with clothes, book, cd's and dvd's?
My room now looks like there are squatters living there.
I think i'll just move now, and let my parents bring the rest of my things over, there is only so much "parent time" one can take.
We havent done much, he came with me to the flat with some things, then we cooked dinner and just chilled out in front of the telly.
Im still not feeling 100%, I'm starting to wonder if I have this pig(?)flu that is spreading all over our planet.
No I havent been to Mexico since 1992, but you never know with these viruses, they have a weird way about them to spread to our immune systems...
Last night anyway, we watched something called "Wipe out", which is similar to those horrendous Japnese game shows where you have to jump in the air and hopefully NOT land in the mud...
I was never a fan of Tachesis castle or whatever the shows were called, but last night I was in stitches and both me and my dad was crying with laughter.
Not because of the contestants but the presenters were HILARIOUS.
They amused us with their wit and funny but somewhat rude comments.
For example, our favourite: "Break your foot, you Danish bastard", when the Danish contestant was close to beating the Swedish contestant.
I try to imagine if this program was showed in England and Jack Dee would say "Break your foot, your Scottish bastard"..
Ofcom would have been under imense pressure and he would have to apologise to all poor scottish people.
My dad left for a conference this morning and woke me to say goodbye at 8am and we still giggled at the "Danish bastard" comment.
So today me and my mum have been up to town, I have opened a savings account that will probably be fairly empty, but at least I will have one.
I was treated to new jeans, before we had a scrumptous lunch where I had a ceasar salad without the parmasan cheese.
It was then time for me to be pampered with a pedicure, I nearly fell asleep and I now feel like im walking on air.
Once home I charged my phone up so I am now officially "with phone" which had to happen at some point didnt it?
And it is good, now I can stay in my flat without feeling too isolated.
That is another thing, I should be moving in to my flat this weekend, either just before or just after.
My mum has taken it upon herself to hang out all my clothes to "get some air through them".
Why is that important I remember asking her when I was a child
"Otherwise the little animals that lives in fabric will eat the clothes"
????
Animals???
Living in my clothes??
To say that I was confused is an understatement, but as I grew up I did learn what sort of animals it was she was talking about, but i still dont see the point of ruin my very careful packing of my suitcases that were mixed with clothes, book, cd's and dvd's?
My room now looks like there are squatters living there.
I think i'll just move now, and let my parents bring the rest of my things over, there is only so much "parent time" one can take.
Saturday 25 April 2009
Blue Saturday
I'm feeling down and blue today, don't really know why, but feeling a bit lonely, would love to be on the beach, with lots of friends, BBQ, someone playing the guitar and me wrapped up in someone special's arms (male arms).
But it's still fairly cold, so the beach is not an option and as far as I know none of my friends knows how to play the guitar and I have no special someone since my mum don't know the name of my lift man!
So I'm indoors on a saturday night, according to facebook and Twitter most people are out partying or snuggling with their families or having a BBQ in the garden with their other friends with children.
I must be the saddest person on the planet tonight, well me and Alexandra, Im chatting to her on msn at the same time Im writing this..
And we have decided to perform a rain dance so everyone else can be as miserable as us.
But that would be immature and I would be told that "What goes around come around" so when the day comes that Im really happy, someone else will do a rain dance and I will get wet and miserable and then we would be stuck in a viscious circle.
So I will be mature and grown up and go to bed and read my book, and tomorrow, if someone asks, I will say that I had a lovely relaxing evening with a good book and a glass of wine.
And I will pretend that I loved every minute of it, since I have been so busy lately it was just what the doctor ordered.
Good night all!
Tomorrow is another day
1992 Eurovision song contest.
We came last with 1 point...or even 0point
But it's still fairly cold, so the beach is not an option and as far as I know none of my friends knows how to play the guitar and I have no special someone since my mum don't know the name of my lift man!
So I'm indoors on a saturday night, according to facebook and Twitter most people are out partying or snuggling with their families or having a BBQ in the garden with their other friends with children.
I must be the saddest person on the planet tonight, well me and Alexandra, Im chatting to her on msn at the same time Im writing this..
And we have decided to perform a rain dance so everyone else can be as miserable as us.
But that would be immature and I would be told that "What goes around come around" so when the day comes that Im really happy, someone else will do a rain dance and I will get wet and miserable and then we would be stuck in a viscious circle.
So I will be mature and grown up and go to bed and read my book, and tomorrow, if someone asks, I will say that I had a lovely relaxing evening with a good book and a glass of wine.
And I will pretend that I loved every minute of it, since I have been so busy lately it was just what the doctor ordered.
Good night all!
Tomorrow is another day
1992 Eurovision song contest.
We came last with 1 point...or even 0point
Friday 24 April 2009
Love in an elevator
I had an intresting morning to say the least.
After being in town to sort out my mobile phone contract, I met my friends mum on the way back from the bus stop.
She calls me "her girl" since me and her daughter were almost inseperable for some time, we used to play in the playground outside our house and if my mum couldt find me, she would call next door because 9 times out of 10 thats where I would be and vice versa.
Anyway, we are walking back and right outside my door a drunk man stops us and slurrs in a broken Swedish/Finish accent about something he needs to talk to us about, but he is just too scared and shy (of me apparently)
Had I been on my own or with my mum I would just have walked past him and into my house, but my friends mum thought it a good idea to talk to him and tell him that Im from England (I dont know why she said that Im from England..Im from Sweden, I just happen to have lived in England for the last 13 years)
So then the drunk tries to speak English which was not very succesful, but he grabbed hold of my arm and grins and tells me that I make him SO shy and scared, and Im almost drunk from just smelling his disgusting breath.
This is the time when my friend decides to leave me with a "Well I must be going, see you later love"
Well thanks for that!!
I started to feel slightly panicked but at the same time i felt "Well maybe this is as good as it gets? The only men who are intrested in me are drunks.."
BUT then, as from heaven above, i felt another hand on my other arm and a deep voice saying "Are you coming then?"
As I turn around i look into a big pair of black sunglasses and a goatee beard and the man says again "Are you coming?" and very gently pulls me in through the door that leads to the lift in my house.
I didnt say anything, just let him lead me into the lift, then he said
"Im on level 5 you're 10 arent you?"
"How did you know that?"
"Saw you the other day and your mum talks about you"
"Ahh"
"And i thought you might get stuck with the drunk for the rest of the day if I didnt drag you away from there"
Well that was very sweet i would say.
He then got off on his level and i carried on up to mine.
So two things: I must tell my mum to stop talking about me to every Tom, Dick and Harry...
But does the beautiful man has a name?
And will i meet him again?
And does he have a girlfriend more to the point?
I might need to stay here for a while, not move quite yet, just to make sure?
In the meantime. Thought this song was suitable..
After being in town to sort out my mobile phone contract, I met my friends mum on the way back from the bus stop.
She calls me "her girl" since me and her daughter were almost inseperable for some time, we used to play in the playground outside our house and if my mum couldt find me, she would call next door because 9 times out of 10 thats where I would be and vice versa.
Anyway, we are walking back and right outside my door a drunk man stops us and slurrs in a broken Swedish/Finish accent about something he needs to talk to us about, but he is just too scared and shy (of me apparently)
Had I been on my own or with my mum I would just have walked past him and into my house, but my friends mum thought it a good idea to talk to him and tell him that Im from England (I dont know why she said that Im from England..Im from Sweden, I just happen to have lived in England for the last 13 years)
So then the drunk tries to speak English which was not very succesful, but he grabbed hold of my arm and grins and tells me that I make him SO shy and scared, and Im almost drunk from just smelling his disgusting breath.
This is the time when my friend decides to leave me with a "Well I must be going, see you later love"
Well thanks for that!!
I started to feel slightly panicked but at the same time i felt "Well maybe this is as good as it gets? The only men who are intrested in me are drunks.."
BUT then, as from heaven above, i felt another hand on my other arm and a deep voice saying "Are you coming then?"
As I turn around i look into a big pair of black sunglasses and a goatee beard and the man says again "Are you coming?" and very gently pulls me in through the door that leads to the lift in my house.
I didnt say anything, just let him lead me into the lift, then he said
"Im on level 5 you're 10 arent you?"
"How did you know that?"
"Saw you the other day and your mum talks about you"
"Ahh"
"And i thought you might get stuck with the drunk for the rest of the day if I didnt drag you away from there"
Well that was very sweet i would say.
He then got off on his level and i carried on up to mine.
So two things: I must tell my mum to stop talking about me to every Tom, Dick and Harry...
But does the beautiful man has a name?
And will i meet him again?
And does he have a girlfriend more to the point?
I might need to stay here for a while, not move quite yet, just to make sure?
In the meantime. Thought this song was suitable..
Thursday 23 April 2009
Moving forward
I went to view the flat yesterday.
It is the basement of what used to be a family home but has now been developed into three seperate flats.
My flat is tiny tiny, but quaint and charming and once i get to put my own "stamp" on it and decorate to my own taste, I think it will be lovely.
It wont be permanent, but that has never been the intention either.
I need somewhere to live while I get my head and heart back together, and make the finale, definite decission, should I stay or should I go?
There is not room for a sofabed but when i go back to England in September I will collect my blow up bed and that will fit in the lounge if i move some things around.
The lady who owns the house has decorated it to her taste, I think she has at some point in her life worked, or at least spent a lot of time in south America and Africa.
There are photos on the walls of children with a hint of red in their olive skin tone, there are also a lot of African masks on the walls, or maybe they are not African but south American?
In whatever case, I hope she wont mind me taking them down because I find them a bit frightening and un nerving.
I signed the contracts and will start moving my things in this weekend, but I will probably stay with my mum and dad for a few more days, I don't think I can explain the feeling so that anyone can actually understand, but the thought of living in Malmo, but not in my parents house, is a surreal feeling.
In a way it feels like I am even further away from them than when I lived in England.
I'm sure it is just something I need to get used to, the same way I have to get used to not having a car.
But we realised today that the bus which stops outside my parents house goes all the way out to my new flat, it will probably take half an hour or so, but then it might take me another half hour to walk to my house.
Me and my mum went into town today since I really need to get a mobile phone.
Which was easier said than done...
Since I havent lived in Sweden for 8 months and i have no job Im not eligable to have a contract phone, I would need a garantour, I could buy a "pay as you go" phone, but if you don't buy the contract they are at least 1000sek (aprox £100).
So the easiest way to do it is just for my mum to open the contract and I will give her the money when the bill comes.
Things really are different in Sweden compared to England, and it's both good and bad.
I am feeling good about this move however, I have a good feeling in my tummy that I will be happy here.
It is the basement of what used to be a family home but has now been developed into three seperate flats.
My flat is tiny tiny, but quaint and charming and once i get to put my own "stamp" on it and decorate to my own taste, I think it will be lovely.
It wont be permanent, but that has never been the intention either.
I need somewhere to live while I get my head and heart back together, and make the finale, definite decission, should I stay or should I go?
There is not room for a sofabed but when i go back to England in September I will collect my blow up bed and that will fit in the lounge if i move some things around.
The lady who owns the house has decorated it to her taste, I think she has at some point in her life worked, or at least spent a lot of time in south America and Africa.
There are photos on the walls of children with a hint of red in their olive skin tone, there are also a lot of African masks on the walls, or maybe they are not African but south American?
In whatever case, I hope she wont mind me taking them down because I find them a bit frightening and un nerving.
I signed the contracts and will start moving my things in this weekend, but I will probably stay with my mum and dad for a few more days, I don't think I can explain the feeling so that anyone can actually understand, but the thought of living in Malmo, but not in my parents house, is a surreal feeling.
In a way it feels like I am even further away from them than when I lived in England.
I'm sure it is just something I need to get used to, the same way I have to get used to not having a car.
But we realised today that the bus which stops outside my parents house goes all the way out to my new flat, it will probably take half an hour or so, but then it might take me another half hour to walk to my house.
Me and my mum went into town today since I really need to get a mobile phone.
Which was easier said than done...
Since I havent lived in Sweden for 8 months and i have no job Im not eligable to have a contract phone, I would need a garantour, I could buy a "pay as you go" phone, but if you don't buy the contract they are at least 1000sek (aprox £100).
So the easiest way to do it is just for my mum to open the contract and I will give her the money when the bill comes.
Things really are different in Sweden compared to England, and it's both good and bad.
I am feeling good about this move however, I have a good feeling in my tummy that I will be happy here.
Tuesday 21 April 2009
Daytime laziness
I've just watched Twilight.
It was dark and beautifully made, although I'm not convinced on the actual story.
And I wasn't impressed with the ending.
I will however watch it again probably, just because the beautiful lightning and scenery, and I'm sure i will see the others aswell if they are as beautifully made.
So yes another lazy day of daytime television, I made one phonecall and will make another one tonight regarding the flat and see what happens.
Then I need to enquire about work, I need some money coming in.
Sharpish.
It was dark and beautifully made, although I'm not convinced on the actual story.
And I wasn't impressed with the ending.
I will however watch it again probably, just because the beautiful lightning and scenery, and I'm sure i will see the others aswell if they are as beautifully made.
So yes another lazy day of daytime television, I made one phonecall and will make another one tonight regarding the flat and see what happens.
Then I need to enquire about work, I need some money coming in.
Sharpish.
Monday 20 April 2009
My bed
My bed is adjustable, at this moment in time Im propped up both behind my back and under my legs, Im not straining a single muscle and Im just unbelievably comfortable and relaxed.
Tomorrow I might just try to figure out how to use my dads camera, download the photos to my computer, and then on to this blog.
That will be exciting, so you might just see what I look like (if you havent already met me) and see what my hometown looks like.
I will be a photographer and a journalist for a day or two.
Night night
Tomorrow I might just try to figure out how to use my dads camera, download the photos to my computer, and then on to this blog.
That will be exciting, so you might just see what I look like (if you havent already met me) and see what my hometown looks like.
I will be a photographer and a journalist for a day or two.
Night night
Im in Sweden
I have arrived in Sweden.
I'm still feeling rotten with cold and flu symptoms and would really like to just stay in bed and eat chocolate. (Because we all know the healing powers of chocolate!) Unfortunately my mother does not agree, and since I am once again living under her roof, I have to obey her rules (and I'm starting to remember why I chose to move to a completely different country when it was time for me to move away from home)
So!
I am being fed fresh fruit and yoghurt and a cup of lemon tea with honey for breakfast.
For lunch I have a salad and then dinner is something else home cooked (not necessarily something Gillian McKeith would recomend, but it is home cooked from scratch)
Since we eat dinner around 4pm I am allowed a snack around 9pm of either some rice cakes, fruit or a tomatoe.
And to top it all off, she has told me that as soon as I am over and rid of my cold she will start exercising me.
Well gee thanks mum!
It's not as bad as I'm making it sound really, if you remember i did say a few weeks ago I want to start looking after myself and taking better care of myself now when I have moved, and my mum is just helping me and supporting me in my own decission.
This morning we went to get me "signed in" to Sweden again, since Im now an immigrant! the lady behind the counter informed me of.
After that fairly traumatic experience i needed to sit down, so we went for lunch and had a rather vile chicken pasta which neither of us ate, before heading home to rest.
My dad came home from work with a rooter for my laptop, which enables me to use my own laptop in my bed room so I don't need to share my dad's computer which is situated in his bedroom.
Tomorrow I think I will make some phonecalls to friends to let them know that I'm hoe again.
This time for good.
Probably.
I'm still feeling rotten with cold and flu symptoms and would really like to just stay in bed and eat chocolate. (Because we all know the healing powers of chocolate!) Unfortunately my mother does not agree, and since I am once again living under her roof, I have to obey her rules (and I'm starting to remember why I chose to move to a completely different country when it was time for me to move away from home)
So!
I am being fed fresh fruit and yoghurt and a cup of lemon tea with honey for breakfast.
For lunch I have a salad and then dinner is something else home cooked (not necessarily something Gillian McKeith would recomend, but it is home cooked from scratch)
Since we eat dinner around 4pm I am allowed a snack around 9pm of either some rice cakes, fruit or a tomatoe.
And to top it all off, she has told me that as soon as I am over and rid of my cold she will start exercising me.
Well gee thanks mum!
It's not as bad as I'm making it sound really, if you remember i did say a few weeks ago I want to start looking after myself and taking better care of myself now when I have moved, and my mum is just helping me and supporting me in my own decission.
This morning we went to get me "signed in" to Sweden again, since Im now an immigrant! the lady behind the counter informed me of.
After that fairly traumatic experience i needed to sit down, so we went for lunch and had a rather vile chicken pasta which neither of us ate, before heading home to rest.
My dad came home from work with a rooter for my laptop, which enables me to use my own laptop in my bed room so I don't need to share my dad's computer which is situated in his bedroom.
Tomorrow I think I will make some phonecalls to friends to let them know that I'm hoe again.
This time for good.
Probably.
Saturday 18 April 2009
Last packing
I'm trying to pack the last bits, and finding things that my parents should have taken in the car because they are too clumsy for me to take on the plane and it doesn't fit into my suit case.
Luckily I can store it here at Vanessa's house.
Not sure if I will be able to close the suitcase anyway, but we will see.
I am feeling ready to go, but at the same time I'm really sad to leave, but I'm excited about a new adventure.
So yes mixed feelings and emotions to say the least.
But i will obviously see everyone again, fairly soon.
I really am going now
Luckily I can store it here at Vanessa's house.
Not sure if I will be able to close the suitcase anyway, but we will see.
I am feeling ready to go, but at the same time I'm really sad to leave, but I'm excited about a new adventure.
So yes mixed feelings and emotions to say the least.
But i will obviously see everyone again, fairly soon.
I really am going now
Friday 17 April 2009
Last night in England
Tonight is my last night in England.
I'm tucked up in bed in Vanessa's attic room, pondering...
Feeling a bit nervous and scared again.
Will I miss people?
But like I have always said "True friendship never ends" and "True love never dies"
I said goodbye to Betty's lovely family and i managed to buy a card for her sister and give it to her without crying.
We then went stalking one last time, and talked about all those men we met.
We agreed that we had been somewhat wild and untamable, but we had a good time.
We then went back to Vanessa's and ordered a take away with Alexandra who had also arrived.
Ive had a lovely night with three of my favourite girls.
I'm tired, my throat is hurting and I'm coughing to the point where I think "I will just stop breathing now"...
I cant lie down, because then i start coughing and I have lost my strepsils, so I am feeling quite sorry for myself at the moment.
Think I will try get some sleep though, even if I have to sleep sitting up.
Night all, next time I write I will be in Sweden.
Bye England, it's been great!
I'm tucked up in bed in Vanessa's attic room, pondering...
Feeling a bit nervous and scared again.
Will I miss people?
But like I have always said "True friendship never ends" and "True love never dies"
I said goodbye to Betty's lovely family and i managed to buy a card for her sister and give it to her without crying.
We then went stalking one last time, and talked about all those men we met.
We agreed that we had been somewhat wild and untamable, but we had a good time.
We then went back to Vanessa's and ordered a take away with Alexandra who had also arrived.
Ive had a lovely night with three of my favourite girls.
I'm tired, my throat is hurting and I'm coughing to the point where I think "I will just stop breathing now"...
I cant lie down, because then i start coughing and I have lost my strepsils, so I am feeling quite sorry for myself at the moment.
Think I will try get some sleep though, even if I have to sleep sitting up.
Night all, next time I write I will be in Sweden.
Bye England, it's been great!
Wednesday 15 April 2009
STEVEN
Yup, that's Him, that's His name.
He is my last in my "Oscar speeches", I cant do this without including him.
I think I have written enough about why we broke up and how much he has hurt me, that most people can be forgiven for wondering what I ever saw in him?
What made me fall in love with him?
So I will now tell you.
I don't know if anyone has tried to tell their heart "Don't even go there! He is bad news, and will break your heart!"
If so you also know how much your heart listens to your head...
I still remember the first time we worked together.
I thought he was just gorgeous.
But he got snatched up by another girl, which was OK, I had just been shat on from a great height and wanted some time to myself anyway.
He went to work in a different building to me, and as they say, Out of sight, out of mind...
10 months later however he was moved to my building and single again!!
I had been on a crazy diet and managed to loose 3.5 stone so felt great.
We used to bump into each other in the smoking area and have a laugh, he was just so cute and sexy I didn't know what to do with myself. He used to talk to me in a flirty, sexy way, which made me feel really special but I was also blushing like a teenager.
I had told my friend Angie to give Steven my NR which she did, but he didn't text me, so I went on a date with another man (lets call him Mr Raspberry)
I was weighing the pros and cons with them both.
Mr Raspberry was calm and stable.
He could afford to take me to nice places and we had good conversations.
Steven was stubborn, a bit wild and unpredictable.
He would spend all his wages within a week and he felt uncomfortable going out for meals since he prefers to eat things from a tin.
My head was saying: Don't do it! He will break your heart!
But as we all know, the head very rarely wins when competing with the heart.
On our second date Mr Raspberry took me to France, which was very nice, he was a nice guy, but the thought of getting naked with him made my stomach turn, unfortunately.
We had some good dates though, but i had to end it when I 2 weeks later got that text message from Steven.
It did however take another three weeks before he asked me to meet him on the beach, and the rest is as they say history.
We kept our relationship very quiet and secret at work for the first couple of months, which made everything so much more exciting.
We would sneak secret glances at each other across a room, "accidentally" touch hands if we met in a corridor and once he even kissed me behind a door.
I was walking on air, bouncing on cloud nine.
The day before my birthday Steven told me that he was in love with me and wanted to be with me forever.
Three weeks later he moved in with me, and I really couldn't be happier.
I loved watching him cook for me, I loved just sitting in his arms, silently breathing him into my heart.
Steven is the first man who when he told me he loved me, I believed him, I allowed him to love me and I allowed him into my heart.
I know he would love it if I wrote about our sex life, praising him for being what he is.
But lets face it, my blog isn't SATC and I'm far from Samantha Jones, so that is for me and him exclusively.
Steven is not a bad man, he has a heart of gold and wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone.
When things go wrong in a relationship we are all guilty of doing and saying things we don't really mean.
Yes he cancelled our wedding, he broke my heart and sent me pummelling into a deep dark hole but he is still the love of my life, even though I have finally accepted that we are not meant for each other, and we will find happiness with other people.
It will however kill me a little bit when the day comes that he tells me that he has met someone else, if he hasn't already met her, but not told me.
But i have now finally come to the point when I believe there is someone else out there for me, who will make me happy.
The song Ive chosen, is the song that should have been our first dance at the wedding and will always be our song, no matter what happens and whoever else we meet.
He is my last in my "Oscar speeches", I cant do this without including him.
I think I have written enough about why we broke up and how much he has hurt me, that most people can be forgiven for wondering what I ever saw in him?
What made me fall in love with him?
So I will now tell you.
I don't know if anyone has tried to tell their heart "Don't even go there! He is bad news, and will break your heart!"
If so you also know how much your heart listens to your head...
I still remember the first time we worked together.
I thought he was just gorgeous.
But he got snatched up by another girl, which was OK, I had just been shat on from a great height and wanted some time to myself anyway.
He went to work in a different building to me, and as they say, Out of sight, out of mind...
10 months later however he was moved to my building and single again!!
I had been on a crazy diet and managed to loose 3.5 stone so felt great.
We used to bump into each other in the smoking area and have a laugh, he was just so cute and sexy I didn't know what to do with myself. He used to talk to me in a flirty, sexy way, which made me feel really special but I was also blushing like a teenager.
I had told my friend Angie to give Steven my NR which she did, but he didn't text me, so I went on a date with another man (lets call him Mr Raspberry)
I was weighing the pros and cons with them both.
Mr Raspberry was calm and stable.
He could afford to take me to nice places and we had good conversations.
Steven was stubborn, a bit wild and unpredictable.
He would spend all his wages within a week and he felt uncomfortable going out for meals since he prefers to eat things from a tin.
My head was saying: Don't do it! He will break your heart!
But as we all know, the head very rarely wins when competing with the heart.
On our second date Mr Raspberry took me to France, which was very nice, he was a nice guy, but the thought of getting naked with him made my stomach turn, unfortunately.
We had some good dates though, but i had to end it when I 2 weeks later got that text message from Steven.
It did however take another three weeks before he asked me to meet him on the beach, and the rest is as they say history.
We kept our relationship very quiet and secret at work for the first couple of months, which made everything so much more exciting.
We would sneak secret glances at each other across a room, "accidentally" touch hands if we met in a corridor and once he even kissed me behind a door.
I was walking on air, bouncing on cloud nine.
The day before my birthday Steven told me that he was in love with me and wanted to be with me forever.
Three weeks later he moved in with me, and I really couldn't be happier.
I loved watching him cook for me, I loved just sitting in his arms, silently breathing him into my heart.
Steven is the first man who when he told me he loved me, I believed him, I allowed him to love me and I allowed him into my heart.
I know he would love it if I wrote about our sex life, praising him for being what he is.
But lets face it, my blog isn't SATC and I'm far from Samantha Jones, so that is for me and him exclusively.
Steven is not a bad man, he has a heart of gold and wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone.
When things go wrong in a relationship we are all guilty of doing and saying things we don't really mean.
Yes he cancelled our wedding, he broke my heart and sent me pummelling into a deep dark hole but he is still the love of my life, even though I have finally accepted that we are not meant for each other, and we will find happiness with other people.
It will however kill me a little bit when the day comes that he tells me that he has met someone else, if he hasn't already met her, but not told me.
But i have now finally come to the point when I believe there is someone else out there for me, who will make me happy.
The song Ive chosen, is the song that should have been our first dance at the wedding and will always be our song, no matter what happens and whoever else we meet.
Tuesday 14 April 2009
DONNA
I have known Donna for three years and four months (ish)
There is a scene in SATC where the girls are having breakfast or lunch in their regular cafe.
I think it is after one of Carrie and Bigs breakups and she is crying saying that she really thought he was her soul mate.
Charlotte says that she wants the girls to have a "pact" where they are each others soul mates.
Boyfriends are great men that come and might go in their lives, but as long as they have each other they will be fine.
That is me and Donna.
We are soul mates.
When me and Donna hang out we are totally ourselves, something we both find difficult with other people, and we often feel awkward and like we don't really belong. Like two misfits.
I remember one of the first nights we worked together.
It was a Sunday just before Christmas and "Chico time" was in the top ten in the charts. So was "Beep" with the PussyCat dolls.
Me and Donna were dancing in the lounge, doing the big step "moonwalk" Chico did in his video.
Donna then imitated the PussyCat dolls and she had it down to a T with the dance moves, lyrics and gestures.
Donna looks like she has just stepped out of a PussyCat doll video, and I am really jealous of her!
We started hanging out every weekend, me, Donna, Him and Donna's boyfriend.
Me and Donna have a thing about reality shows and spent the first summer we knew each other watching Big Brother, and discussing the contestants deeply and very seriously.
It was the year when Pete won, and we were glued to the TV following him and Nikki's on screen romance.
We did get a bit worried when it ended and mourned together, but before we knew it, X - factor had started and again we got pulled into the world of reality drama.
We didn't venture out anymore, just found happiness in the sofa with a bottle of Lambrini and chicken shish kebab.
Our poor boyfriends were very patient I have to say...
They didn't argue, and only moaned a few times, they soon realised it was not much point..
In the summer of 2007 we went on holiday to Blackpool with work, everyone else was tired and wanted to go home after three days, but me and Donna had so much fun, and decided to live like trailer trash in a caravan when we grow old.
Even though it was with work, I came back feeling calm and relaxed as if I had been two weeks in Thailand (minus the tan)
We did loosely discuss opening a business together, a cafe where local artists can show their work. We would call it Misfits, after ourselves, it would be a haven for the different people, the ones who doesn't "fit" in our society (knowing our luck we would get the alcoholics and mentally ill people with no money to by food with, so we would give away sandwiches and go bankruptcy within a month)
Donna is an amazing artist herself, she gave me one of her paintings to have as a memory and i adore it!
When I get a camera i will take a photo and show it to you.
I wish i could have more of her paintings, hopefully one day i will have a big house where I can hang them all and when she becomes famous I can brag about her and that I'm the only one who understands her tortured, fragile, artist soul.
It's nice being around Donna, compared to her I'm Einstein.
I remember the day I got a txt message saying "Blimey, I've just tried to swallow one of my painkillers, but didn't realise it was a soluble one, it started frothing in my mouth and I now look like a rabid dog..."
What do I say to that?
She should have been blond?
Donna is the nicest, sweetest, kindest and loveliest girl you will ever meet.
She wouldn't say boo to a goose and ALWAYS gives everyone the benefit of the doubt.
She isn't like me, who will form an opinion about someone depending on what shoes they wear.
(No that is a joke, I don't really do that)
But Donna is so loyal to the people she loves and cares about and wont tolerate anyone talking bad about her friends.
When me and Him broke up, Donna was there, not asking questions, just handing me tissues, listening to me ranting and hugging me.
She never tired of me, which I wouldn't blame her if she had, it is hard to see your best friend crumble in front of your eyes like I did.
I miss her, everyday, since she in January decided to take her life and move to Canada (of all bloody places...)
Even though i didn't want her to leave me, I supported her and was behind her all the way, she would be with the man of her dreams and live happily ever after.
Unfortunately prince charming was a toad and an arsehole and I have a lot of worse names for him, but I shan't be childish or politically incorrect, so will settle with saying I'm not best impressed with his behaviour, and will be happy when Donna is back in England again where I can visit her more often.
So what song shall I choose for my bestest girl?
My non sexual soul mate?
A song that makes me think of her and smile?
Well I think it has to be the final dance in "Step up 2", a film we watched with childish excitement and tried to copy the moves to in her lounge.
Her poor ginger cat Charlie fled out from the window and we more or less collapsed, in a heap, laughing until our sides ached.
But this is Donna, and me, at our best, body popping.
There is a scene in SATC where the girls are having breakfast or lunch in their regular cafe.
I think it is after one of Carrie and Bigs breakups and she is crying saying that she really thought he was her soul mate.
Charlotte says that she wants the girls to have a "pact" where they are each others soul mates.
Boyfriends are great men that come and might go in their lives, but as long as they have each other they will be fine.
That is me and Donna.
We are soul mates.
When me and Donna hang out we are totally ourselves, something we both find difficult with other people, and we often feel awkward and like we don't really belong. Like two misfits.
I remember one of the first nights we worked together.
It was a Sunday just before Christmas and "Chico time" was in the top ten in the charts. So was "Beep" with the PussyCat dolls.
Me and Donna were dancing in the lounge, doing the big step "moonwalk" Chico did in his video.
Donna then imitated the PussyCat dolls and she had it down to a T with the dance moves, lyrics and gestures.
Donna looks like she has just stepped out of a PussyCat doll video, and I am really jealous of her!
We started hanging out every weekend, me, Donna, Him and Donna's boyfriend.
Me and Donna have a thing about reality shows and spent the first summer we knew each other watching Big Brother, and discussing the contestants deeply and very seriously.
It was the year when Pete won, and we were glued to the TV following him and Nikki's on screen romance.
We did get a bit worried when it ended and mourned together, but before we knew it, X - factor had started and again we got pulled into the world of reality drama.
We didn't venture out anymore, just found happiness in the sofa with a bottle of Lambrini and chicken shish kebab.
Our poor boyfriends were very patient I have to say...
They didn't argue, and only moaned a few times, they soon realised it was not much point..
In the summer of 2007 we went on holiday to Blackpool with work, everyone else was tired and wanted to go home after three days, but me and Donna had so much fun, and decided to live like trailer trash in a caravan when we grow old.
Even though it was with work, I came back feeling calm and relaxed as if I had been two weeks in Thailand (minus the tan)
We did loosely discuss opening a business together, a cafe where local artists can show their work. We would call it Misfits, after ourselves, it would be a haven for the different people, the ones who doesn't "fit" in our society (knowing our luck we would get the alcoholics and mentally ill people with no money to by food with, so we would give away sandwiches and go bankruptcy within a month)
Donna is an amazing artist herself, she gave me one of her paintings to have as a memory and i adore it!
When I get a camera i will take a photo and show it to you.
I wish i could have more of her paintings, hopefully one day i will have a big house where I can hang them all and when she becomes famous I can brag about her and that I'm the only one who understands her tortured, fragile, artist soul.
It's nice being around Donna, compared to her I'm Einstein.
I remember the day I got a txt message saying "Blimey, I've just tried to swallow one of my painkillers, but didn't realise it was a soluble one, it started frothing in my mouth and I now look like a rabid dog..."
What do I say to that?
She should have been blond?
Donna is the nicest, sweetest, kindest and loveliest girl you will ever meet.
She wouldn't say boo to a goose and ALWAYS gives everyone the benefit of the doubt.
She isn't like me, who will form an opinion about someone depending on what shoes they wear.
(No that is a joke, I don't really do that)
But Donna is so loyal to the people she loves and cares about and wont tolerate anyone talking bad about her friends.
When me and Him broke up, Donna was there, not asking questions, just handing me tissues, listening to me ranting and hugging me.
She never tired of me, which I wouldn't blame her if she had, it is hard to see your best friend crumble in front of your eyes like I did.
I miss her, everyday, since she in January decided to take her life and move to Canada (of all bloody places...)
Even though i didn't want her to leave me, I supported her and was behind her all the way, she would be with the man of her dreams and live happily ever after.
Unfortunately prince charming was a toad and an arsehole and I have a lot of worse names for him, but I shan't be childish or politically incorrect, so will settle with saying I'm not best impressed with his behaviour, and will be happy when Donna is back in England again where I can visit her more often.
So what song shall I choose for my bestest girl?
My non sexual soul mate?
A song that makes me think of her and smile?
Well I think it has to be the final dance in "Step up 2", a film we watched with childish excitement and tried to copy the moves to in her lounge.
Her poor ginger cat Charlie fled out from the window and we more or less collapsed, in a heap, laughing until our sides ached.
But this is Donna, and me, at our best, body popping.
Monday 13 April 2009
Midnight hour
Its now midnight and ive been glued to my laptop for nearly three hours.
The velvet hour is getting closer, when the outside world is totally still and dark, and I should be getting my sleep, but on my laptop I found one of my favourite Nickelack songs which Im now playing over and over and over again.
Thought i would share it with you instead of ranting about the same thing Ive been ranting about for the past year.
Hope you enjoy the song as much as I love it.
The velvet hour is getting closer, when the outside world is totally still and dark, and I should be getting my sleep, but on my laptop I found one of my favourite Nickelack songs which Im now playing over and over and over again.
Thought i would share it with you instead of ranting about the same thing Ive been ranting about for the past year.
Hope you enjoy the song as much as I love it.
GERAINT
I hope I have spelled his name correctly, Geraint is Sally and Alex's 4Th (yes 4Th! you may be excused for having the word "rabbits..?" pop into your head..it did to me..) and he has just turned 1.
He is just so damn gorgeous, that I have decided to forgive his parents for thinking that they can re populate the earth on their own.
Having just spent a week up in Surrey with him I have got to know him a bit more, and he is just so happy and smiley about everything and he has the most infectious smile and laughter, that you just feel happy being around him, I have a feeling he will be the heart breaker in that family. Along with his sister obviously...
Being only one year old Geraint haven't developed any favourite toys or obsessions yet apart from the normal baby things "anything-i-can-get-my-hands-on/in"
Pouring cups of juice on the floor is one fun thing to do..
But one thing his brothers and sister has thought him is to "roar" when they ask "What does the tiger say?"
"Raaaaa" says Geraint then.
He also roars "Raaaaa" when he is asked where the cat, the duck and the fish is though..... bless the baby...
With Geraint being a baby still, I obviously wont know him as well as i know his sister and brothers, but i hope he will get used to me when i come to stay and he wont be too scared of me.
He should be OK, i will bribe him with lots of toys and sweets, and force him to love me.
He is just so damn gorgeous, that I have decided to forgive his parents for thinking that they can re populate the earth on their own.
Having just spent a week up in Surrey with him I have got to know him a bit more, and he is just so happy and smiley about everything and he has the most infectious smile and laughter, that you just feel happy being around him, I have a feeling he will be the heart breaker in that family. Along with his sister obviously...
Being only one year old Geraint haven't developed any favourite toys or obsessions yet apart from the normal baby things "anything-i-can-get-my-hands-on/in"
Pouring cups of juice on the floor is one fun thing to do..
But one thing his brothers and sister has thought him is to "roar" when they ask "What does the tiger say?"
"Raaaaa" says Geraint then.
He also roars "Raaaaa" when he is asked where the cat, the duck and the fish is though..... bless the baby...
With Geraint being a baby still, I obviously wont know him as well as i know his sister and brothers, but i hope he will get used to me when i come to stay and he wont be too scared of me.
He should be OK, i will bribe him with lots of toys and sweets, and force him to love me.
Back from Surrey and ready to go.
I'm back, and I'm ill!
A week of eating lovely, healthy, home cooked food and no junk apparently does that to you.
My throat feels like and open wound with salt in and I'm changing between shivering cold and sweating like a beast.
I feel very attractive.
It was hard saying goodbye to the Wood family.
I cant believe I wont see them for at least 6 months now.
I cried pretty much the whole way back along the motorway.
Last night Brendan sent me a txt message saying "I love you so much" which set me off again and I txt him back telling him how I love him too.
Today me and my parents are packing up their car with all my things and they are going back tomorrow.
I'm also selling my car tomorrow so will be on foot for the first time since I passed my driving test 8 years ago.
That is scary, I bet i will get lost...
I talked to my friend in Sweden earlier this morning and she asked if I had everything packed and if I feel ready?
And yes I do, I feel that everything is falling into place, I have a job, a flat and I have enrolled to a signing course at a school where they teach interpreters.
I enjoy signing even if I never really thought about working as an interpreter, but no knowledge is bad knowledge, right?
I have my things divided into 2 piles, one for "need to go home now" and the other is "can wait another 6 months or so"
So yes I am for the first time in my life organised and ready to go.
I'm ready for the next chapter in my life to start, and to let go of the past.
I'm feeling good, excited and inspired to make some good things happen to me.
In 7 days time my new life will start.
A week of eating lovely, healthy, home cooked food and no junk apparently does that to you.
My throat feels like and open wound with salt in and I'm changing between shivering cold and sweating like a beast.
I feel very attractive.
It was hard saying goodbye to the Wood family.
I cant believe I wont see them for at least 6 months now.
I cried pretty much the whole way back along the motorway.
Last night Brendan sent me a txt message saying "I love you so much" which set me off again and I txt him back telling him how I love him too.
Today me and my parents are packing up their car with all my things and they are going back tomorrow.
I'm also selling my car tomorrow so will be on foot for the first time since I passed my driving test 8 years ago.
That is scary, I bet i will get lost...
I talked to my friend in Sweden earlier this morning and she asked if I had everything packed and if I feel ready?
And yes I do, I feel that everything is falling into place, I have a job, a flat and I have enrolled to a signing course at a school where they teach interpreters.
I enjoy signing even if I never really thought about working as an interpreter, but no knowledge is bad knowledge, right?
I have my things divided into 2 piles, one for "need to go home now" and the other is "can wait another 6 months or so"
So yes I am for the first time in my life organised and ready to go.
I'm ready for the next chapter in my life to start, and to let go of the past.
I'm feeling good, excited and inspired to make some good things happen to me.
In 7 days time my new life will start.
Wednesday 8 April 2009
Why is it still so raw?
I have three more people to write about in my "Oscar speeches".
They all deserve that I take time and make an effort to write about them, and at the moment I'm spending the week in Surrey with my god children and Sally and Alex.
They have recently moved house so Internet haven't been installed yet, so i have sneaked over to Sally's mum's house to use it.
We went into town yesterday to buy some cards for sally's sister since its her birthday today, and I got stuck in the aisle where the wedding cards are.
I thought i would buy Betty's sister a card since she is getting married in 3 weeks time.
But I couldn't do it.
I stood in the middle of the shop and felt my eyes filling up with tears and a big lump forming in my throat.
And I wondered, Why is it still so raw?
Why am I still so upset?
And will I ever be able to look at a wedding dress, a wedding card or anything regarding a wedding without crying?
I just hope it will get better once I'm back in Sweden and I cant just get in my car and 10 Min's later be with him.
They all deserve that I take time and make an effort to write about them, and at the moment I'm spending the week in Surrey with my god children and Sally and Alex.
They have recently moved house so Internet haven't been installed yet, so i have sneaked over to Sally's mum's house to use it.
We went into town yesterday to buy some cards for sally's sister since its her birthday today, and I got stuck in the aisle where the wedding cards are.
I thought i would buy Betty's sister a card since she is getting married in 3 weeks time.
But I couldn't do it.
I stood in the middle of the shop and felt my eyes filling up with tears and a big lump forming in my throat.
And I wondered, Why is it still so raw?
Why am I still so upset?
And will I ever be able to look at a wedding dress, a wedding card or anything regarding a wedding without crying?
I just hope it will get better once I'm back in Sweden and I cant just get in my car and 10 Min's later be with him.
Sunday 5 April 2009
BRENDAN
Brendan is officially my god son and Sally and Alex 3rd child.
He was born 4 days after my 26th birthday and as per usual I was in bed with tonsillitis. I had such a high temperature I'm sure I had dragons in my bedroom.
I was in a semi conscious state when I heard Sally calling "Mum, mum, MUM!!!!"
And I remember thinking "You silly cow, your mother isn't here, she is coming next week in time for the baby"
Very slowly, like in slow motion state, my brain kicked into gear and I realised she was in labour and I had to get down stairs right away.
In my fever-fuzzy state I thought I had lunged myself out of bed, but in reality I wasn't even sitting up and the next thing I know Sally is standing next to my bed telling me her water has broke.
I was supposed to look after Cameron and Bronwen but I nearly passed out when I stood up so Sally had to call another friend who also took her to the hospital.
I stayed in bed, with the phone next to me, waiting for Alex to come home from work in London.
He casually strolled in two hours later and went to make himself some toast, (men...) I shooed him off to the hospital and he just made it in time before Brendan was born.
Brendan was very fascinated by dinosaurs, so one Christmas I bought him a remote controlled dinosaur who could fight with a dragon, which at first scared the poor child, but when we played together he was ok and after a while he liked them.
Brendan's new passion is music, and he will perform his favourite songs very passionately for anyone who wants to listen.
Ive heard that he has a girlfriend now, or he did on Valentines day anyway.
He send his mum to Asda to buy the girlfriend a card, a teddy bear, a box of chocolates and a big red heart balloon.
The boy has style and I'm so proud of him.
Brendan is the most sensitive of the children, maybe he will become an artist or a poet or a famous singer?
He has a great sense of humour and Sally and Alex always has a new crazy story to tell me when I come up and see them.
Writing about the children makes me realise how much i will miss them when I move.
But I believe that you never loose true friends, true friendship never ends and with today's technology we will keep in touch and see each other as often as possible.
Today Wall E is Brendans favourite.
But Im sure next week it will be something else.
He was born 4 days after my 26th birthday and as per usual I was in bed with tonsillitis. I had such a high temperature I'm sure I had dragons in my bedroom.
I was in a semi conscious state when I heard Sally calling "Mum, mum, MUM!!!!"
And I remember thinking "You silly cow, your mother isn't here, she is coming next week in time for the baby"
Very slowly, like in slow motion state, my brain kicked into gear and I realised she was in labour and I had to get down stairs right away.
In my fever-fuzzy state I thought I had lunged myself out of bed, but in reality I wasn't even sitting up and the next thing I know Sally is standing next to my bed telling me her water has broke.
I was supposed to look after Cameron and Bronwen but I nearly passed out when I stood up so Sally had to call another friend who also took her to the hospital.
I stayed in bed, with the phone next to me, waiting for Alex to come home from work in London.
He casually strolled in two hours later and went to make himself some toast, (men...) I shooed him off to the hospital and he just made it in time before Brendan was born.
Brendan was very fascinated by dinosaurs, so one Christmas I bought him a remote controlled dinosaur who could fight with a dragon, which at first scared the poor child, but when we played together he was ok and after a while he liked them.
Brendan's new passion is music, and he will perform his favourite songs very passionately for anyone who wants to listen.
Ive heard that he has a girlfriend now, or he did on Valentines day anyway.
He send his mum to Asda to buy the girlfriend a card, a teddy bear, a box of chocolates and a big red heart balloon.
The boy has style and I'm so proud of him.
Brendan is the most sensitive of the children, maybe he will become an artist or a poet or a famous singer?
He has a great sense of humour and Sally and Alex always has a new crazy story to tell me when I come up and see them.
Writing about the children makes me realise how much i will miss them when I move.
But I believe that you never loose true friends, true friendship never ends and with today's technology we will keep in touch and see each other as often as possible.
Today Wall E is Brendans favourite.
But Im sure next week it will be something else.
Stupid questions, Why?
As my time is drawing nearer to my departure from England to Sweden I still get the question "Why are you going back?"
Do I need a reason?
Cant I just decide that enough is enough and I want to get away?
At least for a while?
When I met new people and said that I moved here by my own free will, they asked me if Im mad?
Why leave a beautiful country like Sweden to come here??
And now when I say that Im moving back home I get the question: "Oh why?? have you had enough?"
When I say: "Actually, yes I have", they get offended!
People are weird..
The sun is shining here today and meeting Alexandra for lunch, hope you all have a good sunday
Do I need a reason?
Cant I just decide that enough is enough and I want to get away?
At least for a while?
When I met new people and said that I moved here by my own free will, they asked me if Im mad?
Why leave a beautiful country like Sweden to come here??
And now when I say that Im moving back home I get the question: "Oh why?? have you had enough?"
When I say: "Actually, yes I have", they get offended!
People are weird..
The sun is shining here today and meeting Alexandra for lunch, hope you all have a good sunday
Saturday 4 April 2009
My promise to me
So I have now moved all my boxes from Betty's garage to Vanessa's attic.
It was HARD work, and in my mind I really thought that if Betty could just help me get the boxes into my car, once I got to Vanessa's house I would be fine carry them up 3 flights of stairs.
Betty told me not to be so bloody stupid and she threw in some other names for good measure, in true Betty fashion, just so i know what an idiot I am.
Well, she was right of course.
I managed to carry one box of Christmas decorations and one small box of glasses before I thought my lungs was collapsing.
Betty on the other hand carried all the other boxes on her own and i only helped her with the box containing books...
What would I have done without her?
Probably had an asthma attack and died!
So my promise to me is:
Look after myself.
Get healthy, get fit and be happy.
I wont embark on some crazy military diet/fitness program, but I will eat more fruit and vegetables and less chocolate.
I will start with walks and look into yoga and Pilate's.
I will also look into "mental and spiritual well being", because I'm fascinated and interested.
I might find that it is nothing for me, but I might also realise there is a whole world out there, just waiting for me to come and explore?
But my promise to me is also to listen to myself more and not ignore the signals my body are sending me.
With this I'm hoping to make myself well and healthy again.
What is your promise to you?
It was HARD work, and in my mind I really thought that if Betty could just help me get the boxes into my car, once I got to Vanessa's house I would be fine carry them up 3 flights of stairs.
Betty told me not to be so bloody stupid and she threw in some other names for good measure, in true Betty fashion, just so i know what an idiot I am.
Well, she was right of course.
I managed to carry one box of Christmas decorations and one small box of glasses before I thought my lungs was collapsing.
Betty on the other hand carried all the other boxes on her own and i only helped her with the box containing books...
What would I have done without her?
Probably had an asthma attack and died!
So my promise to me is:
Look after myself.
Get healthy, get fit and be happy.
I wont embark on some crazy military diet/fitness program, but I will eat more fruit and vegetables and less chocolate.
I will start with walks and look into yoga and Pilate's.
I will also look into "mental and spiritual well being", because I'm fascinated and interested.
I might find that it is nothing for me, but I might also realise there is a whole world out there, just waiting for me to come and explore?
But my promise to me is also to listen to myself more and not ignore the signals my body are sending me.
With this I'm hoping to make myself well and healthy again.
What is your promise to you?
Friday 3 April 2009
ALEXANDRA
I'm guessing some people will raise their eyebrows at finding Alexandra here, since we got to know each other in Sweden , in college, but in the spring of 2004 she took her cat and moved over here to be with me for a year.
She stayed in a bed and breakfast which was owned by a funny little man, until we found a perfect 2 bedroom flat overlooking the harbour.
The bedrooms were not right next to each other (which was important for both of us, for....you know......privacy), the lounge was small ish, but we did fit a sofa an arm chair and a coffee table. The kitchen was well planned and had a breakfast bar.
There was however a couple of, what shall i call them, downsides to our flat...
Above us lived a man who was at least 200 years old, he couldn't look after himself and really shouldn't have lived in a flat on his own, he used to leave his front door open and just call out for anyone who walked past "Hello, can you help me?" and whoever the unlucky sod who came home first was, would go in and help him dial his daughter or whoever he needed to speak to.
And at Christmas all the neighbours would post Christmas cards through our door, which is something Alexandra has never got used to, that in England you don't necessarily post your Christmas cards if you will see the person at work everyday, or if its your neighbour.
In Sweden we post ALL our Christmas cards, which obviously I will have to get used to again, not to be tight on the postage.
Living with Alexandra was great!
I think I have mentioned before that she is a great cook, and would often txt me and ask if I wanted dinner when I came home.
It is very nice to be greeted with dinner on the table when you get in, I will never deny that.
Saturday mornings was ALWAYS Swedish breakfast morning.
We would get fresh bread from Waitrose and have nice ham, German sausage, pate, cucumber, peppers, jam and marmalade, juice, tea, coffee, chocolate milk, you name it we ate it.
We would then eat and talk for hours, about what we got up to during the week, and especially if we had been out the night before.
I remember one Saturday morning, we were feeling rather fragile after a heavy night, and i looked at the window and saw two big circles in the middle of the window.
"What on earth is that on the window?" i asked.
Alexandra looked and laughed and then said:
"Cant you remember? You pressed your boobs against the window at some people who walked past last night"
......No I don't remember that!!!!!!
Thank god!
I am classy aren't I?
The house our flat was in had a roof garden, we were delighted and thought we would spend the whole summer up there, getting a tan.
More like rust, if you ask me..
But we got a table and six horrendous wooden chairs from the manager of the restaurant Alexandra worked in and dragged them up there.
A couple of days later we got a letter from another tenant asking us what the point of that was?
And wasn't it an eye sore to have such ugly furniture up there?
we ignored it, and when I moved out 18 months later it was still there.
During the summer of 2004 I went on holiday with my parents to Scotland and Alexandra had the flat to herself for 2 weeks.
Two days before I came home I got a txt from her saying
"Ive met someone I really quite like, but I wont tell you who..."
It turned out to be the young man who worked in the pub across the road from us.
When I came home we spied on him from Alexandra's bedroom, thinking we were smart since we had turned the lights off, until she received a txt from him saying "If you are gonna spy on me you have to try harder and not giggle like that"
He had heard us giggle from across the road.
After 6 months of dating Geoff and Alexandra moved in together and I stayed on my own in the flat.
In June 2006 they got married and will live their happy ever after together.
I don't know what else to tell you about Alexandra, it will take me a week to write, but we have been through so much together, happiness, laughter, sadness and tears.
And it feels so good to know, that no matter what, we will always be friends.
We might not see each other for a long time, or even talk for a while, and even though we actually are as different as night and day, our friendship has grown so strong now, that we will always be a part of each others life.
The song Ive chosen for Alexandra is one we heard for the first time in a karaoke bar in Copenhagen during our college time.
Hope you like it as much as we did and still do.
She stayed in a bed and breakfast which was owned by a funny little man, until we found a perfect 2 bedroom flat overlooking the harbour.
The bedrooms were not right next to each other (which was important for both of us, for....you know......privacy), the lounge was small ish, but we did fit a sofa an arm chair and a coffee table. The kitchen was well planned and had a breakfast bar.
There was however a couple of, what shall i call them, downsides to our flat...
Above us lived a man who was at least 200 years old, he couldn't look after himself and really shouldn't have lived in a flat on his own, he used to leave his front door open and just call out for anyone who walked past "Hello, can you help me?" and whoever the unlucky sod who came home first was, would go in and help him dial his daughter or whoever he needed to speak to.
And at Christmas all the neighbours would post Christmas cards through our door, which is something Alexandra has never got used to, that in England you don't necessarily post your Christmas cards if you will see the person at work everyday, or if its your neighbour.
In Sweden we post ALL our Christmas cards, which obviously I will have to get used to again, not to be tight on the postage.
Living with Alexandra was great!
I think I have mentioned before that she is a great cook, and would often txt me and ask if I wanted dinner when I came home.
It is very nice to be greeted with dinner on the table when you get in, I will never deny that.
Saturday mornings was ALWAYS Swedish breakfast morning.
We would get fresh bread from Waitrose and have nice ham, German sausage, pate, cucumber, peppers, jam and marmalade, juice, tea, coffee, chocolate milk, you name it we ate it.
We would then eat and talk for hours, about what we got up to during the week, and especially if we had been out the night before.
I remember one Saturday morning, we were feeling rather fragile after a heavy night, and i looked at the window and saw two big circles in the middle of the window.
"What on earth is that on the window?" i asked.
Alexandra looked and laughed and then said:
"Cant you remember? You pressed your boobs against the window at some people who walked past last night"
......No I don't remember that!!!!!!
Thank god!
I am classy aren't I?
The house our flat was in had a roof garden, we were delighted and thought we would spend the whole summer up there, getting a tan.
More like rust, if you ask me..
But we got a table and six horrendous wooden chairs from the manager of the restaurant Alexandra worked in and dragged them up there.
A couple of days later we got a letter from another tenant asking us what the point of that was?
And wasn't it an eye sore to have such ugly furniture up there?
we ignored it, and when I moved out 18 months later it was still there.
During the summer of 2004 I went on holiday with my parents to Scotland and Alexandra had the flat to herself for 2 weeks.
Two days before I came home I got a txt from her saying
"Ive met someone I really quite like, but I wont tell you who..."
It turned out to be the young man who worked in the pub across the road from us.
When I came home we spied on him from Alexandra's bedroom, thinking we were smart since we had turned the lights off, until she received a txt from him saying "If you are gonna spy on me you have to try harder and not giggle like that"
He had heard us giggle from across the road.
After 6 months of dating Geoff and Alexandra moved in together and I stayed on my own in the flat.
In June 2006 they got married and will live their happy ever after together.
I don't know what else to tell you about Alexandra, it will take me a week to write, but we have been through so much together, happiness, laughter, sadness and tears.
And it feels so good to know, that no matter what, we will always be friends.
We might not see each other for a long time, or even talk for a while, and even though we actually are as different as night and day, our friendship has grown so strong now, that we will always be a part of each others life.
The song Ive chosen for Alexandra is one we heard for the first time in a karaoke bar in Copenhagen during our college time.
Hope you like it as much as we did and still do.
Thursday 2 April 2009
BETTY
For the purpose of this exercise my friend wants to remain anonymous since she fears the paparazzi will chase her. So I will call her Betty.
I got to know Betty when we both worked for a medium size hotel chain.
I worked in the restaurant and Betty was on reception.
I'm trying to find the right word to best describe Betty, she is so many things in one, she is bubbly, friendly, funny, open, sometimes brutally honest, ditsy, smart, streetwise, loyal, caring. Yes the list is actually endless.
We got talking one Wednesday evening when the hotel was quiet, well i say we, Betty talked, because I think that is what defines her the most, she only stops talking when she falls asleep, and I say that in an affectionate way.
Betty is a fashonista and tried her best to teach me how to dress and what clothes are "in" at the moment.
I remember one night we bumped into each other rather drunk and when she asked if I was having a good time I laughed and said: "Yes, I'm off work, I'm drunk and I'm wearing my favourite shoes, what more can a girl want?"
Betty looked at my shoes, looked at me, then looked at my shoes again.
Then turned to her friend and said something, and then turned to me again and said:
"Right I'm taking you shopping, those shoes are not good"
Now, just reading that makes Betty sound like a complete bitch, but she isn't, she has a way of saying things that makes you feel good about yourself even if you might just have been insulted.
So off we went, shopping.
Betty is of the philosophy "the higher the better" when it comes to shoes, but that has never worked for me, I'm like a new born calf, on ice.
But Betty was adamant that I needed at least one pair of semi high heels in my wardrobe, so after many trials and error I ended up with three pairs that I loved and could walk in.
Betty and her friend, who I will call Chlorine for the same reasons as above, introduced me to "stalking" boys.
This doesn't mean stalking in its true form, you wouldn't catch us sitting across the road, wearing big sun glasses, with a bag of doughnuts in our laps, but we would drive past the house where the boy we fancied at the time lived.
Just to see if his car was outside, his light was on or if we might catch him making a cup of tea in his kitchen.
Just reading this must make us sound completely crazy, but to be honest I think most people have done this at some point in their lives, just driving around in someones car, listening to music, talking to your friends.
For some reason it can sometimes be easier to talk about serious things whilst you drive than sitting face to face with someone.
It was during this time I got involved with Mr B (B is the first letter in his surname but it also stands for Bastard)
When I think about him now I really don't know what the attraction was to be honest. I think he gave me attention, and i fell for it, and by the time he showed me his true colours i was already in love with him.
I tried to be hard and mean to him, but its not in my nature so I just ended up making a fool of myself, clinging on to him for no other reason than I wanted to be loved and I thought: "If I just love him enough, his heart will soften and he will love me back".
I fell pregnant with Mr B's child, but he told me it wasn't his baby, and that I was a whore, he would never have anything to do with the baby or with me if i decided to keep it, and he threatened to perform the abortion himself on me.
I wouldn't have an abortion, but I think in a way I was lucky to miscarry the baby.
Through this time Betty was there, always with encouraging words and endless cups of tea or glasses of vodka, whatever I needed that day. We talked a lot about Mr B and she built my confidence so that I broke the contact with him and never looked back.
If you were to ask her about it, she would laugh and say that she did nothing no one else wouldn't have done, but that was my lowest point and I wouldn't have made it without Betty and her way of spreading happiness around her.
Betty can also drink most men under the table, or she could in those days anyway.
One night I was determinded to keep up with her, drinking as many Reef's as she did, and boy was i ill that night and next day..
Betty woke me up at 2pm, saying: "Look! I have missed 2 meals, I'm starving!! You have to take me home!" There was no way i could drive, so she drove my car to her house via Burger King "drive through" and I nearly threw up in the queue. We came home to Betty's house and i crashed in her sisters bed and slept for another 2 hours, after which I felt fine and could drive myself home again.
Even if I had a camera and knew how to work it, for obvious reasons I cant put a photo of Betty here, that would make the whole exercise of calling her Betty in the first place pointless.
But i will leave you with our favourite song.
We were in the royal one night (the place to be) when it was first released, I was wearing red trousers and a red low cut top, I cant remember what Betty was wearing but something black with something denim rings a bell.
We were busting the grooves to this song and got a lot of attention from the opposite sex.
Enjoy!
And Betty, you are the best, love ya.
I got to know Betty when we both worked for a medium size hotel chain.
I worked in the restaurant and Betty was on reception.
I'm trying to find the right word to best describe Betty, she is so many things in one, she is bubbly, friendly, funny, open, sometimes brutally honest, ditsy, smart, streetwise, loyal, caring. Yes the list is actually endless.
We got talking one Wednesday evening when the hotel was quiet, well i say we, Betty talked, because I think that is what defines her the most, she only stops talking when she falls asleep, and I say that in an affectionate way.
Betty is a fashonista and tried her best to teach me how to dress and what clothes are "in" at the moment.
I remember one night we bumped into each other rather drunk and when she asked if I was having a good time I laughed and said: "Yes, I'm off work, I'm drunk and I'm wearing my favourite shoes, what more can a girl want?"
Betty looked at my shoes, looked at me, then looked at my shoes again.
Then turned to her friend and said something, and then turned to me again and said:
"Right I'm taking you shopping, those shoes are not good"
Now, just reading that makes Betty sound like a complete bitch, but she isn't, she has a way of saying things that makes you feel good about yourself even if you might just have been insulted.
So off we went, shopping.
Betty is of the philosophy "the higher the better" when it comes to shoes, but that has never worked for me, I'm like a new born calf, on ice.
But Betty was adamant that I needed at least one pair of semi high heels in my wardrobe, so after many trials and error I ended up with three pairs that I loved and could walk in.
Betty and her friend, who I will call Chlorine for the same reasons as above, introduced me to "stalking" boys.
This doesn't mean stalking in its true form, you wouldn't catch us sitting across the road, wearing big sun glasses, with a bag of doughnuts in our laps, but we would drive past the house where the boy we fancied at the time lived.
Just to see if his car was outside, his light was on or if we might catch him making a cup of tea in his kitchen.
Just reading this must make us sound completely crazy, but to be honest I think most people have done this at some point in their lives, just driving around in someones car, listening to music, talking to your friends.
For some reason it can sometimes be easier to talk about serious things whilst you drive than sitting face to face with someone.
It was during this time I got involved with Mr B (B is the first letter in his surname but it also stands for Bastard)
When I think about him now I really don't know what the attraction was to be honest. I think he gave me attention, and i fell for it, and by the time he showed me his true colours i was already in love with him.
I tried to be hard and mean to him, but its not in my nature so I just ended up making a fool of myself, clinging on to him for no other reason than I wanted to be loved and I thought: "If I just love him enough, his heart will soften and he will love me back".
I fell pregnant with Mr B's child, but he told me it wasn't his baby, and that I was a whore, he would never have anything to do with the baby or with me if i decided to keep it, and he threatened to perform the abortion himself on me.
I wouldn't have an abortion, but I think in a way I was lucky to miscarry the baby.
Through this time Betty was there, always with encouraging words and endless cups of tea or glasses of vodka, whatever I needed that day. We talked a lot about Mr B and she built my confidence so that I broke the contact with him and never looked back.
If you were to ask her about it, she would laugh and say that she did nothing no one else wouldn't have done, but that was my lowest point and I wouldn't have made it without Betty and her way of spreading happiness around her.
Betty can also drink most men under the table, or she could in those days anyway.
One night I was determinded to keep up with her, drinking as many Reef's as she did, and boy was i ill that night and next day..
Betty woke me up at 2pm, saying: "Look! I have missed 2 meals, I'm starving!! You have to take me home!" There was no way i could drive, so she drove my car to her house via Burger King "drive through" and I nearly threw up in the queue. We came home to Betty's house and i crashed in her sisters bed and slept for another 2 hours, after which I felt fine and could drive myself home again.
Even if I had a camera and knew how to work it, for obvious reasons I cant put a photo of Betty here, that would make the whole exercise of calling her Betty in the first place pointless.
But i will leave you with our favourite song.
We were in the royal one night (the place to be) when it was first released, I was wearing red trousers and a red low cut top, I cant remember what Betty was wearing but something black with something denim rings a bell.
We were busting the grooves to this song and got a lot of attention from the opposite sex.
Enjoy!
And Betty, you are the best, love ya.
Wednesday 1 April 2009
BRONWEN
My "Oscar speeches" continues, it is now time for my little princess Bronwen.
Bronwen is Sally and Alex's only daughter and a princess.
She was born prematurely, Sally had spent almost the whole of the pregnancy in bed and there was one night when the doctors didn't think she would pull through.
Luckily her guardian angel held a hand over Bibi (her big brother's nick name for her) and after that night she was only one way - UP.
Bibi had just started walking when I moved back in with the family and she would spend every hour she didn't eat or sleep in my room and we would do girlie things, such as painting nails, try on my clothes and eat sweets.
I gave her my purple snakeskin handbag which she wouldn't leave the house without and once every two weeks or so we would go in my car to the big town and have lunch and buy pink or purple things.
She was the perfect shopping company for me, we are just as impatient and don't want to spend too long in each shop.
Our favourite shop was Debenhams because there she could mix her own lunch in a little box.
I had a store card, which I charged far too much to, just because she is so damn cute and would wear anything I picked out.
For Christmas and birthdays I always bought her clothes or shoes, I especially remember one year when I found the coolest, funkiest, pink glittery ankle boots.
Bronwen loved them as much as I did and wore them until they fell apart.
This Christmas Bronwen got a mobile phone from Santa and we now txt each other every now and then, one day in January I got a txt message at 4.15am telling me they had lots of snow and she hadn't been to school for three days.
Bronwen is a girlie girl and I am taking some of the credit for that, I introduced her to the pinks in life, the nail varnish, the shoes and the handbags.
Last time I visited her, I noticed that she has kept the purple bag I gave her, which made my heart melt.
Bronwen is the best girl in the world, and i already miss her.
Hopefully she will come to Sweden to visit me, meet a nice young Swedish man and marry him and move to Sweden and be closer to me.
Well as I have said before, i can dream cant i?
Bronwen is Sally and Alex's only daughter and a princess.
She was born prematurely, Sally had spent almost the whole of the pregnancy in bed and there was one night when the doctors didn't think she would pull through.
Luckily her guardian angel held a hand over Bibi (her big brother's nick name for her) and after that night she was only one way - UP.
Bibi had just started walking when I moved back in with the family and she would spend every hour she didn't eat or sleep in my room and we would do girlie things, such as painting nails, try on my clothes and eat sweets.
I gave her my purple snakeskin handbag which she wouldn't leave the house without and once every two weeks or so we would go in my car to the big town and have lunch and buy pink or purple things.
She was the perfect shopping company for me, we are just as impatient and don't want to spend too long in each shop.
Our favourite shop was Debenhams because there she could mix her own lunch in a little box.
I had a store card, which I charged far too much to, just because she is so damn cute and would wear anything I picked out.
For Christmas and birthdays I always bought her clothes or shoes, I especially remember one year when I found the coolest, funkiest, pink glittery ankle boots.
Bronwen loved them as much as I did and wore them until they fell apart.
This Christmas Bronwen got a mobile phone from Santa and we now txt each other every now and then, one day in January I got a txt message at 4.15am telling me they had lots of snow and she hadn't been to school for three days.
Bronwen is a girlie girl and I am taking some of the credit for that, I introduced her to the pinks in life, the nail varnish, the shoes and the handbags.
Last time I visited her, I noticed that she has kept the purple bag I gave her, which made my heart melt.
Bronwen is the best girl in the world, and i already miss her.
Hopefully she will come to Sweden to visit me, meet a nice young Swedish man and marry him and move to Sweden and be closer to me.
Well as I have said before, i can dream cant i?
Sorting out memories
I have moved out from my room and am currently residing in Shelley's guest room.
I have all my belonging here, and depending on how you see it, is taking over their garage, or it is really pitiful considering it is all I have from the 13 years of living in England.
How do you decide what needs to come home to Sweden straight away and what can come in 6 months or so?
How do you decide which of your memories are more important than others?
For me it is a heart breaking task and I wish that someone else could do it for me.
But Im putting my big girl pants on and getting on with it.
Or I will do later, must watch a film now.
I have all my belonging here, and depending on how you see it, is taking over their garage, or it is really pitiful considering it is all I have from the 13 years of living in England.
How do you decide what needs to come home to Sweden straight away and what can come in 6 months or so?
How do you decide which of your memories are more important than others?
For me it is a heart breaking task and I wish that someone else could do it for me.
But Im putting my big girl pants on and getting on with it.
Or I will do later, must watch a film now.
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