Blessings

It is quiet around me, apart from Don Henley singing to me from Spotify.
I am feeling peaceful and relaxed, and very happy to say that I have the greatest friends in the world.
On Wednesday I met up with Sandra, Jeanette and Carolina for a girls night on the town with great food, wine and drinks.
We went to a place called Granden (translated to the Alley) where you sit outdoors.
I ate kebabs with chips and sauces which was delicious and the best thing is that they fill up on the chips, potato gratin and sauces if you want it.
We were one of the last parties to leave and we ventured into the "little square" where we drank mojitos until 01.30am.
A great great night with lots of gossip and catch up.

Yesterday was a very lazy day and I wore my pyjamas until lunch time (pretty much the same as today) before I drove to my friend who lives outside of Malmo, she had cooked a gorgeous chicken with rice and sauce.
It was so nice to see her again and catch up with her and her husband.
Ive known Mia since we were children, we lived in the same block of flats and used to run around on the playground together.
We went through a rocky patch when we were 18 and the boy I was madly in love with fell in love with her instead, but we got through it and today she is married to a much better man and has two beautiful children.

I am working this weekend and since I have been off the past 2 weekends and now had 3 days off I am feeling good and ready to work, almost looking forward to it.
Next week I'm meeting up with Sofie, she has promised to help me take photos of my wedding dress and advertise it on the Swedish equivalent to EBay.
I'm split in two over if I should sell it or not however...
I look at it and my heart hurts, because I love the dress.
Some people have told me that I "have to get rid of it because I bought it to marry Steven in and it is bad luck otherwise" or something else stupid...
I don't think I see it the same way though...
It would have been different if I had gotten married in that dress and we then got divorced....but I never actually wore it....
The other thing that is in a way torturing me, is the fact that my mum paid £1500 for that dress...And whereas I'm not expecting to get that much for it, I don't want to sell for under £1000.
I think I rather save it, and if I one day find myself in the position of getting married again, I can decide then if I want to wear it or not.
I have a friend whose mother is very good with a needle and thread who I am sure could help me with alterations.

But I will see if someone is interested in buying it and don't try to take advantage with the price. So keep your fingers crossed and I will keep you posted on how things are progressing.

Again I feel blessed that I have such amazing friends who are so great to be around and who make me really happy.
There is just one person missing who would make everything perfect.
But a girl cant have everything, Swedish is a difficult language to learn.
Have a great weekend!

Dildos, wank booths and cinamon rolls

In our local daily news paper, you could yesterday read an article about a man, who works on a specially build boat which he steers around our canal and picks up all the junk and rubbish people throw in. Apparently there is a pattern of what he will find, depending on season.
In the spring time it is bikes that are found mostly, this year he has so far fished up 122 bikes from the depts of the canal.
I'm not very surprised upon hearing this, there are millions and millions of bikes in Malmo, that is the first thing all the English visitors (well all 3 of them) Ive had with me home during the years have said when they arrive at the train station.
"Ive never seen so many bikes in my life".

There is however something else he has found in the water.
Dildos!
Even though the article doesn't give an exact NR, we are led to believe that it hasn't been just one or two..as the bikes was mostly found in the spring time, dildos are more common in the summer.
And one day he found one that was still "running". (I wonder which one that was? How great would a water proof dildo be?)

We discussed this at work today, and we were all baffled at what posses someone to bring their dildo from home just to throw it in the canal?
(The canal doesn't run round the whole city, just in the central part)

The male colleague had the theory that it has to be women who travels and forgot they had it in their handbag and didn't want the embarrassment in customs, so they would throw it in the canal before they took the train to Copenhagen and board a plane to some hot shot city.
The young female colleague had two different theories.
1) It is more likely that you will meet a new boyfriend in the summer, so after a few good shags you throw the dildo away with a shout of joy of not needing it anymore. (Word of advice girl friend, keep it, come November you might need it again) But then we are back to the question of: "Why bring it from home to the canal???"
2) Every year is a "dildo race" amongst women, who can throw their dildo the furthest? Obviously the one that was still running won...
My own theory was that someone has done it just to see if it was brought up in media? Just to baffle people. To get us all talking. Maybe someone will even start a "group" on facebook? "Dildo throwers in Malmo-are you one of them?"

The conversation then moved onto a shop in our town, where the older female colleague's friend works. It is a shop that sells sexy lingerie but apparently you can also go there to rent a movie, go into a booth with a TV and pleasure yourself..
Again I wonder: Why?
Why not do that at home, in your own comfort, where your shoes don't stick to the floor?
The older female colleague explained that if you have children, you wont want to do that at home.

....???
I wont divulge into other peoples fantasies, sex lives or masturbation habits, but I was surprised to hear this from her, who, 10 Min's earlier had told us how her ex boyfriends son found her fluffy handcuffs and allowed him to play with them..
As you can hear, it has been a very productive day at work today.

When I came home I made cinnamon rolls, whilst watching Americas Next Top Model series 2.
I think I'm off for a shower now before visiting Paris Hilton's magical world.
I'm gonna put the rolls in the freezer, otherwise I will eat them all, and unfortunately that is no lie...
Tomorrow I'm meeting three great girls for dinner and drinks, looking forward to it.

Sexual frustrations in the Zone?

I have spent some time in "the Zone" today, the writing zone that is. I'm quite proud to have disciplined myself to stay offline and not check facebook every five minutes.
I started writing, the words almost flowed from my fingers to the keyboard,and up on the screen. After six pages I stopped to read what I had written and got a minor chock.
I had written what can only be described as porn, in Swedish and in detail describing what the characters were doing, had been doing and wants to do with and to each other.
I had to delete most of it (but kept a few parts) and store that in a dark place of my brain, maybe an erotic novel will be my next project?
I ended up with another four pages that I am happy with.
But I started thinking, what made me write something so explicit?
Where did that come from?
I was slightly surprised at the language I used as well, I had used words that almost seemed to be a different language, worse than Jackie Collins.
Is that what happens when real writers go into the Zone? They "transform" into a different character to the one their friends and families see them? Like when an actor prepares for a character?
I'm baffled and surprised but at the same time curious of where my writing will take me?
I feel I need to control myself a little bit, because what I am writing at the moment is not meant to be too vulgar, but maybe I will write something naughty as well for a totally different audience?

But I am still curious to where it all came from?
Is it my inner self trying to tell me that I am sexually starved and frustrated?
What a weird way of telling me that I need a good seeing to.

I am nursing what might develop into a cold or even flu, so I am eating garlic, drinking tea and taking paracetamol every 4 hours, I'm dressed in fluffy socks, track suit and a light summer scarf wrapped around my neck to keep my throat warm. I really don't want to come down with this summer flu everyone seems to be spreading all over the world.
But on a plus side I have soon finished the brick of a book Ive been reading for what feels like forever "The Dilemma by Penny Vincenzi. I wonder if it is the translation that is awful, I have read other books by the same author and finished them in a week, but this one just drags....I am almost done now however and it is getting better the closer to the end I get.

I have also spent some of this weekend listening to old classic Swedish songs on spotify. Music I listened to when I was in college and spent a lot of time with the rednecks and hillbillies from one of the suburbs to Malmo.
And speaking of the "sexually frustrated", I think whoever wrote this song, was slightly frustrated.

Lamp shades and bag in box wine

This weekend is a long weekend for me, I have three whole glorious days where I don't have to go into work. Well it is now only two left of it..but still.
Yesterday I cleaned my flat and did all my laundry, in the afternoon me and Micke took the bus to Ikea to look for a lamp for him. Note to self: Friday afternoons, Ikea is pretty much deserted.
I bought myself a wok and a sieve.
When I lived in England I couldn't survive without my wok, I have now lived in Sweden for nearly 4 months and managed just fine without one, but I don't want to risk it much longer.
Again we felt the need to take a taxi home, but instead of Thai take away we went down to the local "Indian Express" for dinner.
There is unfortunately nothing express about it, we were first told that we couldn't sit at a table for four because of the festival and they were hoping for a lot of guests, the host then showed us to a table set for three where one chair was facing the wall in the corner.
We over heard the customer next to us asking for a cup of tea but he was denied it and asked to leave instead.
But the food was really nice and we ate until our bellies felt like they were about to split.

Micke had bought a new lamp at Ikea, which he wanted me to help him put together.
You can see the picture of it at the top, and imagine how "fiddly" it was.
It took us over an hour to put all the pieces together but since we had opened the "bag in the box" everything seemed so much more fun.
Micke who has just discovered Spotify, made music lists and again we listened to fabulous trashy music.
I was just about to go home when Rickard turned up, so I stayed and chatted for a bit longer, drank some more wine and didn't get home until 02.30 this morning.
Happy, but unbelievably tired.
Today I slept til gone 10am...something I haven't done since I was a teenager.

I'm not sure what today has in store for me, the weather seems to be glorious, from what I can see from my basement windows, so I think it will have to be a day out somewhere.

I hope you enjoy your day, I will leave you with one of the great songs we listened to last night.
I don't know much about clothes and things but my hair looks fierce!

Why do bad things happen to good people?

When I was a child I used to wonder what the expression "Did you get out on the wrong side of the bad this morning?" really meant?
Why would it matter what side of the bed you get out?
I can only get out of my bed one way, until the day comes when I can walk through walls that is. But I guess the expression is appropriate to use today.
I felt irate and annoyed when I woke up, for no real reason. I hoped that a warm shower would lift my mood, but unfortunately it didn't.

I did cheer up a bit when I got to work, one of my colleagues have the ability to make me smile (or want to jump off a bridge) in an instant.
Luckily today he was lovely so I felt better when I went to see my first client.
Unfortunately this gentleman decided to pee on my feet in the shower, which was not very pleasant, I nearly died.
I know he couldn't help it but it still took my uttermost to just laugh and clean myself up.

The stove in his kitchen has gone AWOL at the moment, so I had to cook his porridge oats in the microwave, has anyone done that before?
Luckily I had the plastic cupola thing covering the bowl, because it "exploded" and turned into a concrete like paste which took me almost an hour to get off from the plastic cupola thing and on the bottom from the oven and the grill.

I had to put some serious elbow grease into it and as I'm scrubbing away, I realise the porridge is gone, but I am scrubbing at something else that is burned into the "floor" of the oven. YUK!

So I obviously had to cook some more porridge, this time I watched it like a hawk!

The rest of the morning passed without any mishaps, it was chilled out and me and my colleague had a nice chat about everything and nothing.
At lunch time we split up and cooked lunch for different clients.
You would think that by now I have had my share of badness happening to me in one day, but no apparently that was not the case.
I banged my big toe on a chair and then the client rolled over it.
The same toe that I had just banged into the chair 10 seconds earlier.
I had to bite my cheek not to howl in pain, my poor client looked mortified, so I had to pretend it didn't hurt.

This is the time when I start to wonder "Why do bad things happen to good people?" "Why do bad things happen to me?"
Still, I suppose things could be worse, and even though I had a few rough times, all in all I had a good day.
Its not over yet though, I have decided to stay in, just to make sure I don't get eaten by a wild bear or run over by a fire engine.

My project for tonight is to make art.
I have an old crystal chandelier that I am picking the crystals off from.
After they have been washed I will put them in my glass vases.
It will look like I have diamonds everywhere and hopefully it will look classy and glamorous and not tacky and cheap.
I will keep you posted, unless I cut off a finger whilst taking the chandelier apart. Keep your fingers crossed.

I dont really know what to say......

I just found this on YouTube.....and isn't it just the 80's in a nutshell?
Wonderfully awful..?

End of the weekend

I realise that a lot of my blog posts starts with me telling you that I have just had a shower and am now feeling clean, refreshed and am slathered in sweet smelling moisturiser.
Well tonight is no different.
we did the car boot sale without the car today, it went really well, and we got rid of a lot of junk and earned a few pennies for the England trip in 6 weeks time.
The weather was perfect, cloudy but no rain, but even so I was feeling a bit icky when I came home so a shower was perfect.
I have now watches my favourite movie from when I was 10.. "Girls just want to have fun"
Sarah Jessica Parker plays the female lead of a catholic girl who wants to be in a dance contest but isn't allowed by her parents.
So what does the naughty little girl do?
Yes you guessed it, she sneaks out at night to practise and then wins the contest....
it was when i watched this film that my dream of becoming a dancer was born

I will leave you with the last scene from the film, where Janey and Jeff wins!!
Vastly exciting!!
Enjoy

TV friendships?

I have had a really good night sleep and woke up feeling rested, but with a rather sore back.
I am watching the last episodes of SATC (for the umpteenth time I guess) and again I start to think about the women's relationships to each other, their friendship, and I remember I used to have the same thoughts about the characters in "Friends".
Is that real friendship?
OK, I want make it clear that I know both "Friends" and SATC are fiction, and I don't think that I would run into either Carrie or Rachael if I went to New York.
But at the end of the day, both series (and pretty much everything fictional we see on TV) are about a group of friends.
So what I am wondering is, aren't they sometimes a bit harsh on each other?

For example, when Carrie decides to move to Paris with the Russian, Miranda is making her feelings about it very clear. She thinks Carrie is stupid for leaving her job and flat in New York to go and live with a man who will pay for everything.
And Carrie turns around and says "Then don't you move to Paris with him"
I agree with Miranda, that Carrie shouldn't move to Paris with the Russian, but that is because I find him rather repulsive.
I'm not overly keen on Big either to be honest, I always thought Carrie was best suited with Aidan and it wasn't until I watched the movie and in the end, where Carrie says "It wasn't logic, It was love" that I got it. What she saw in Big.

But back to the friendships.
I think of the episode where Rachael and Monica are "fighting" over who shall go out with Jean Claude van Damme and they end up ruining each others purse and favourite jumper. I don't know if any of my own friendships could survive something like that?
Does that mean that my friends and I are very shallow and cant forgive each other?
Personally I think I have some very strong relationships with my friends, but I don't think we would ever end up so angry that we would pour marinara sauce in each others handbags.
Neither could I ever imagine saying to a friend that she is stupid and that if she gets involved with the same man who broke her heart again, I wont be there for her anymore.
Maybe it is me who has got the meaning of friendship wrong?
Maybe that is what friends do?
Tell each other that we are stupid idiots?

I just hope that none of my friends would ever tell me that I am a fool for believing in love and putting my everything into my relationships.



Rachael and Monica. Fighting. Over a man.....
Watching this clip again makes me giggle and I get a mental image in my head.
Of what IF me and Donna would argue like this?
I think we would get to the part where I rip her sock off (lets face it, I am stronger than her...ha ha) and then we would be in a heap on the floor, probably crying with laughter.

And the rain fell

Finally some more rain. I am so relieved, it will make life so much easier for me. As long as it stops for Sunday morning.
I have spent this afternoon and evening writing.
Yes I have started writing my book.
Or it might not become a book, it might turn into a short story or it might just line the waste paper basket in someones office, but at least I am writing something, then we will see what becomes of it.
And no, I wont tell you what it is that I am writing, I wont give you a little taste of it, at least not yet, maybe in a year or so, when I feel it is almost ready....
Again, time will have to tell what the future holds.
it is taking some time though, since I am writing in Swedish and all of a sudden I realise that I have switched to writing in English. That is pathetic isn't it? But unfortunately true. So I am having to re write again and again. At least I'm not working to a deadline.

Ive had a shower and applied some sweet smelling moisturiser, the door to the garden is open so I can hear and smell the rain and life feels pretty good.
I will have an early night tonight, to try and catch up on some lost sleep.

Goodnight



I love this, just found it on YouTube

Finally...

It is Friday afternoon, I have finished work, my wonderful colleague let me leave early so I was home in time for "The Tyra Banks show" and Im now sitting here wondering if I should open a bottle of wine to have with my dinner?
Ive got a chicken breast defrosting which I will have with new potatoes and salad, so a glass of white wine would just finish the meal wouldnt it?

But drinking on your own?
Is that a wise idea?
I think I would end up feeling sad and alone, so I think I will give it a miss and save the wine til a night with the girls.

Im very excited and glad that I have this weekend off AND next weekend aswell!
I have worked three weekends in a row (I dont know if I have mentioned it before? or maybe I am boring everyone to death about it?)
I havent got any plans, me and my mum are doing the car bootsale/fleamarket on sunday, hopefully it wont rain.
apart from that I will just chill and recharge my batteries.

Maybe I will put that bottle in the fridge anyway...just incase.....
Who knows, I might get invited to something vastly exciting?
I will keep you posted.
Have a great weekend you all.

So beautiful...

Ive had a brilliant day at work today.
Me, one of my favourite colleagues and two clients took the bus and headed off to Kiviks marknad.
Its a big market and I think it MIGHT be one of the biggest in Sweden, but don't quote me on that, I could be wrong.
It took us two hours to drive there, but it was a pleasant drive, the wind in our hairs and good conversations.
We strolled around, looking at the stalls, bought some nick knacks and ate doughnuts.
It was a bit of a struggle walking with a wheelchair, since the market is on a big fields and a bit "hilly", so we only stayed for an hour and a half.

We then drove to Ystad for lunch, which by now we were all in much need of.
Whilst driving, all I could think was "My god I live in a beautiful country".
The yellow and green fields in my county, making the ground look like a big patch quilt. The lovely farm houses where the geese and chickens are running around in the front yard.
I wouldn't mind living on a farm, but not one with live stock..I couldn't bare the smell...
Then I could have my studio and also write books.
But I guess if you live on a farm, you have to work on the farm...so maybe I will re think that thought.
After refuelling our bellies we steered the bus to Smygehuk where we ate waffles and drank coffee.
Smygehuk is the south est part of Sweden, right by the sea and it is so beautiful on that beach.
I used to have a friend who lived there, we sometimes played with the wheelie bins on the beach, she would sit on the wheelie bin and I would "drive", then stop abruptly to see how far she would be thrown. It was a lot of fun, maybe it is one of those happenings you had to be there to appreciate the fun.

We then drove home, I have just had a well deserved shower and am sitting with my feet up, slathered in "after sun" and watching the celebrations of our crown princess on the TV. It is her 32Nd birthday today and a lot of celebrities are wishing her a very happy birthday at her summer house on Oland.
Yet again, I am reminded of what a beautiful country I live in.



I have had a great day today, I'm now feeling very relaxed and looking forward to my day off tomorrow.

Well....

So much for my early night....
Well its not late now, but I'm not very tired anymore...
I started reading my previous blog posts, which I have done once before and I should have remembered it is too early...
Whereas I have moved on in some ways..I'm not completely "healed"
It is still gonna take some time to get over fully.

I was so very naughty and had a cigarette in the garden, and all the while I could hear a crow "laughing" at me.
Like he was saying: "You stupid bitch, you shouldn't smoke"
And I know I shouldn't, I just miss it sometimes.
But I put it out and decided to watch SATC instead, the episode where Carrie and Aidan get back together, which I shouldn't watch either, just makes me think and wonder "What if?" too much.

So onto something much nicer, I got an email on facebook from a girl I worked a few shifts with this week, we got on really well and hopefully we will work a few more shifts together. Anyway, I said to her that I hope we will talk another time and see each other sometime (just in a friendly manner for all of you with dirty minds...you know who you are..ha ha) and she replied back saying I seem to be a really cool person!!!!
I think I'm the most uncool person on earth, but it is nice and cool to hear that other people think that I'm "cool".
I realise I now sound like a 14 year old...but hey..
I really am going to bed now.



Heard this song on my Mp3 player today..Didn't even realise I had it....but I like it, and it makes me feel better.

Dumb Blond

It seems that my brain is still affected by the heat last week, I wonder if there is actually some truth in the saying that the brain is "fried"?
Today have been pretty much a haze, I have been unbelievably tired and just about managed to drag myself through my tasks and chores at work, I think it has something to do with the fact that this weekend is my third in a row....I will enjoy the rest next weekend shall bring.
I left work and went to my parents house since I had been promised "Raggmunk" for dinner (it is similar to hasch browns, but a bit stodgier...and much nicer than it sounds..) When I arrived I realised I had left my jacket at work and in the pocket were my keys.
And I had also brought home the keys to a clients flat.
Dumb blond.....

I have started thinking about the wedding again, songs that would have been great and fun to surprise the guests with.
Is that also due to the heat?
Am I loosing my mind here?
Or is it because I decided to look at the dress yesterday?
Was that a stupid thing to do?
But I have to move on at some point?
And I cant hang on to the dress forever, soon it will be out of fashion and no one will want to buy it...
Dumb blond....

I am considering a seriously early night tonight, like now..
But maybe 18.40 is a bit too early even for me...
I have a 10 hour shift ahead of me tomorrow, so I really don't want to wake up at 4am and not be able to go back to sleep until 7.30am when it is time to get up.
I will have to find something else to do for another few hours.

Day off

I have the day off today, which was well needed.
I am exhausted and drained at the moment, but next week brings three days off instead of one like the last three weeks and that includes the weekend so I am looking forward to that.
I woke up to no breakfast in the fridge, how did I forget that my fridge and cupboards were empty?
Not so grown up.
My tummy was grumbling and I really didn't fancy rice cakes and water first thing so I walked down to the shop in search for something yummy.

It had been raining during the night which I was happy to see (I am probably the only one...) but as I ventured outside it had stopped, but not for long..I arrived to the shop like a drenched cat, not very attractive at all.
Back home I had a quick shower and washed my hair, then my mum turned up with grilled chicken, salad and bread "for lunch".
"I was just about to have breakfast" so good job I didn't eat before I showered.

So instead we had "brunch" and gossiped.
I love spending times like this with my mum, it doesn't get as "intense" as when I came home to visit and we had to squeeze in six months worth of missed time in five days. I can now go home to my flat and not feel guilty for not spending enough time with my parents, because I will see them again tomorrow or the next day.
I then went home with mum for a trip up to the attic to rummage in boxes of "junk" because next week we are doing a "car boot" sale (without the car), selling some books, old records and other "junk" my parents have collected in the attic for years and years and some more years.
Hopefully it wont rain, but knowing my luck, now when I have wished for rain and some cooler weather, it will be snow and hailstorms the day we put our table up to earn a few pennies for the road trip we are doing in September.

Whilst I was there I decided that right there and then was the time to look at my wedding dress. It has hung behind the door to my old bedroom since my parents came home with it from England, and I haven't felt ready to look at it, but today I ripped the plastic open and took a peak.
It is still beautiful, and I'm still sad that I never got to wear it, but I think I am ready to sell it now.
My friend Sofie has just left for two weeks holiday, but when she gets back home I will ask her to help me, she is good with thing like that, both with computers and how to sell things.

This evening will be spent watching "Twilight", its the perfect weather for it, cloudy, damp and soon dark. I will then have an early night.
A girl from work called me and asked if I wanted to come for a few drinks, but I am just too tired, I will probably be in bed by 10pm, then it's back to work at 8am tomorrow again.
I am really happy she asked me though, and I told her I really want to come next time so hopefully she will call me again.

So with that, I will bid you goodnight, I have a date with "Twilight"

Drink spillage, heatwave and stinking drains

This weekend started good, I met up with Micke after I finished work on Friday, he needed help moving some things he had stored at his mums flat whilst he has been in LA, and he doesn't have a Swedish driving license and needed someone to drive the van.
And that's where I come in, I have a "European" license so I can drive, I cant carry much up the stairs though...it was rather pathetic..
I managed to carry two boxes and a plant up the three flights of stairs in Micke's building, then my asthma kicked in and I sat panting in his lounge fanning myself with an envelope, poor Micke had to carry the chairs and the rest of his Cd's by himself.
It was probably the last time he asked me to help him move anything.
I then got to prove just what a dumb blond I actually am.
We obviously had to take the van back to the garage and I put my foot down to get some speed, but the car just rolled on very very slowly, I looked at Micke and wondered what on earth was wrong?
I pushed the accelerator to the bottom, but still nothing happened..
Two cars overtook us and the drivers shook their heads at me and I felt so stupid, and it just got worse when I actually realised that the car had conked out...and I didn't realise..I just kept trying to drive..
Micke laughed until he nearly wet himself.

There is an off license around the corner from where the van was rented and Micke went to buy some wine for our dinner, and came out with a magnum 1.5 litre bottle of "Chapel Hill" a Hungarian sparkling wine AND a normal sized bottle of wine.
The photo at the top is of Micke and the bottle.
We got a taxi home (so white trash) and Micke went to get our take away while I tried to freshen myself up (without success)
We ate gorgeous Thai food (my favourite) the wine was cool and the conversation flowed nicely.
We stood by his french balcony and breathed in the atmosphere from the square where he lives.
It was such a lovely night, we listened to old euro techno from "the good old days" and the more we drank, the more Micke spilled on the floor and the table.
He tried to blame it on the glasses and I told him it was he who was too drunk, but when I tried to pour the wine myself (we had at this time moved on to the sparkling stuff) I realised that there was definitely something wrong with them, they are designer glasses and very flash, so I'm sure they are faulty in one way or the other which makes it virtually impossible not to spill.
After that the wetex cloth (jay cloth in English) was kept in the lounge with us.


I took a taxi home just after 01.00 and after a much needed shower I took my tipsy booty to bed.

On Saturday morning I woke at 8am and threw my clothes in the wash (I had been sensible enough not to start the washing machine at 1.30 am, somehow I don't think my neighbours would have appreciated that..) and then went back to bed for an hour.
At 9.30 I got a phone call from work asking if I could come in a bit early since a staff member had gone home sick, so I started work 4 hrs early and worked til 21.00.

Yesterday must have been the hottest day ever!
I had to go shopping for a client and I pressed myself against the house facades to avoid the burning sun.
I stayed at my parents house last night, my room was unbearably hot and I think I only got three hours sleep, it was too hot even though I had the window open.
I then worked 09.00-19.00 which wasn't as painful as yesterday since today has given us winds and clouds and a promise of rain.
My colleague did a funny thing though, she filled a saucepan with cold water and then threw it on the balcony, she said it would freshen the air and encourage the rain to fall.
I have never heard that before, and there is still no rain, so I'm not convinced it works..

When I finally came home I was greeted by a rather vile smell coming from my kitchen sink.
It smells of dirty drains,which is just awful.
My mum says its because I live in a basement flat, and I live partially under ground, which means all the water and waste stops with me, not nice and not fair if you ask me, but I will cope for a year, by which time I will hopefully have won the lottery and can by a nice flat in the marina and a small farm where I can write and make pottery.

Its been a great weekend, despite the heat and I have THAT feeling in my tummy again, that feeling I cant really explain, but I think it is the fire that is slowly starting again.
The fire I have been looking and searching for, for some time now, it has been so long since I last felt it, that I'm a little bit scared I wont recognise it and maybe mistake it for hunger and choke it to death...but I am pretty certain, that it is the fire that is coming back.
I'm gonna embrace it and and greet it like an old friend who I haven't seen but missed dearly for a long long time.

I will leave you with one of the euro techno trash songs me and Micke listened to (and translated to Swedish) on Friday.
I will say no more.



Ace of Base "The sign" (Jag sag en skylt)

Later on

I'm home from a great night out.
The art exhibition was very nice, not quite like the ones you see in SATC but I wouldn't understand that anyway, so this was a good start to break me into art.
We didn't drink champagne, but we had cool, white wine instead.
The weather stayed warm and clear, which I am grateful for since we sat in the garden and talked and laughed.
The gallery closed at 9pm so we then took a slow stroll to "The peoples park" where there was a sing-a-long on tonight, unfortunately it was already full up so we sat next door and drank mojitos instead.

While standing by the bar, a feeling came over me.
It was fairly powerful, it didn't knock me of my feet, but I felt really happy.
I still feel that there is a lot I need to get used to and adjust myself to, but I will do my best to allow it to take the time it needs, even though I am extremely impatient.
It felt so good sitting in a park, on a warm and lovely evening, with good company and feeling that I am ok.
I don't have to prove anything, I can just be.

I am now gonna be in my bed.
I'm very tired.
Goodnight

I cant cope with this....

I'm literally melting!!
It is too hot and I'm suffering.
Most people say that we mustn't complain, because it wont last, and all I can say is "Thank god for that"
Yesterday I had to put a wet flannel on my head, like an old person, just to try and cool myself down.
Whats next?
Will I be sucking on ice cubes? Like my grandmother used to do when it was hot "Ooooh I need cool down from the inside child" she used to say to me when I asked her what she was doing.

I think the worse thing with the heat has got to be the fact that I have to use public transport.
So many sweaty, smelly bodies, crammed together in a bus with closed windows and no air conditioning, I have probably caught trichinosis by now.
For once I am grateful for being tall, I'm 5ft11 so at least I wont have my face pushed into someones stinky armpit.

Tonight I'm going to an art exhibition with some girls I went to school with, who both were at the reunion we had a few weeks ago.
I will be honest and admit that I'm not actually going for my love of the art, but I'm hoping it will be like the exhibitions from Charlotte's gallery in SATC...with handsome, intelligent men and champagne...
My taxi will be here soon, so I suppose I should put my face on.
Because even though it is hot, I'm not looking too hot at the moment, so it might take some time to look semi decent.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a nice thunderstorm tonight so when I get home I can watch a vampire film.