Sunday 26 July 2009

Sexual frustrations in the Zone?


I have spent some time in "the Zone" today, the writing zone that is. I'm quite proud to have disciplined myself to stay offline and not check facebook every five minutes.
I started writing, the words almost flowed from my fingers to the keyboard,and up on the screen. After six pages I stopped to read what I had written and got a minor chock.
I had written what can only be described as porn, in Swedish and in detail describing what the characters were doing, had been doing and wants to do with and to each other.
I had to delete most of it (but kept a few parts) and store that in a dark place of my brain, maybe an erotic novel will be my next project?
I ended up with another four pages that I am happy with.
But I started thinking, what made me write something so explicit?
Where did that come from?
I was slightly surprised at the language I used as well, I had used words that almost seemed to be a different language, worse than Jackie Collins.
Is that what happens when real writers go into the Zone? They "transform" into a different character to the one their friends and families see them? Like when an actor prepares for a character?
I'm baffled and surprised but at the same time curious of where my writing will take me?
I feel I need to control myself a little bit, because what I am writing at the moment is not meant to be too vulgar, but maybe I will write something naughty as well for a totally different audience?

But I am still curious to where it all came from?
Is it my inner self trying to tell me that I am sexually starved and frustrated?
What a weird way of telling me that I need a good seeing to.

I am nursing what might develop into a cold or even flu, so I am eating garlic, drinking tea and taking paracetamol every 4 hours, I'm dressed in fluffy socks, track suit and a light summer scarf wrapped around my neck to keep my throat warm. I really don't want to come down with this summer flu everyone seems to be spreading all over the world.
But on a plus side I have soon finished the brick of a book Ive been reading for what feels like forever "The Dilemma by Penny Vincenzi. I wonder if it is the translation that is awful, I have read other books by the same author and finished them in a week, but this one just drags....I am almost done now however and it is getting better the closer to the end I get.

I have also spent some of this weekend listening to old classic Swedish songs on spotify. Music I listened to when I was in college and spent a lot of time with the rednecks and hillbillies from one of the suburbs to Malmo.
And speaking of the "sexually frustrated", I think whoever wrote this song, was slightly frustrated.

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