The day is over, the night is close

Im tucked up in bed, Europe's latest album "One last look at Eden" is playing quietly on spotify. Europe is really the sort of music you should listen to loudly, whilst cleaning or letting go of some anger.
Or drinking Vodka and coke to, the voice of Joey Tempest brings me back to partying in the "suburbs" of Malmo whilst in college, rock music being pumped out from enormous speakers and boys with long hair, headbanging, wearing washed out jeans, denim shirt and to finish off the look of "cool" a leather waistcoat and pointy cowboy boots.
Thankfully my taste in men changed somewhat as I got older (but not always wiser)

Today has been a bit stressful, it hit me this morning that I am an idiot!
I am such a fool and I am so stupid I could actually bang my head into a brickwall, but I figure that would hurt..so Ill skip it for now..
I think I have finally, today, learned that how ever much you want to, people very rarely change, and it's not often they mean the words that are coming out of their mouths.
I cant go into details, but I just needed to write these words down so I can see for myself, that I am just a naive moron.
The only person I am angry at is myself, which in a weird way makes me even more angry, because there is someone else I want to be angry with, but I cant, I really cant, it is just my own fault for being retarded.

I feel relieved in a way though, this is it, I am so over this episode in my life.
And no more will I allow anyone to take me for granted and abuse the fact that I am friendly and want people I care about to be happy and fulfilled, so I bend over backwards in a vain attempt to heal broken hearts and lifes.
I feel relieved that finally I have seen and am seeing what everyone else has seen for such a long time.

Thats it, Im done now, I will not lie sleepless tonight, worrying, I will just sleep and wake up tomorrow feeling happy and content.