Difficult times....

She felt her heart beat. Hard in her chest, and the motion awoke the butterflies in her tummy. It had been a long time since she had last felt them. She had missed them, but they had in their turn turned into anguish and hours of tears pouring down her cheeks, from her eyes.
So she turned off. Didnt mean to, but it all went black and it was comfortable, comfortably numb.

So now, she strangled the butterflies before they could wake anything else.
Is that what hapened?
Did she really do that?
Or was it just the gut feeling that wasnt there?
And why wasnt it there?
On paper everything was the way it should be, but her gut didnt want to follow, and if the gut isnt in it, the heart wont follow.

So she realised it was time to be brave and grown up and picked up the phone.
Was she making the biggest mistake of her life?
Or would it turn out the best decision she ever took?
She decided that if it was a mistake, she would have to suit herself and move on, yet again.
And it would be ok.
Her time would come eventually.
At least she hoped so.