Bitterness....

I'm halfway through a book that I thought would have me laughing until I cried. It is translated to "The bitter cunt". I have seen a TV show called "Balls of steel", where a woman is "attacking" men on the town, shouting and letting all her bitterness out. It is quite hilarious, so I was disappointed when I started reading this book (which has no connection the programme) I thought it would be something equally funny.
But it is (I think) a biography of this woman and how she became such a "bitter cunt"
and the first chapters is dedicated to talking about how disappointed and let down she feels by her husband and that she doesn't see it as a miracle or as fabulous as everyone says it is to become a mother.

Maybe it is the fact that I haven't been able to carry through a pregnancy yet that I feel she is just out of order and I can feel myself turning into a "bitter cunt"

But as I have carried on reading (once Ive started reading a book I make it my mission to finish it) I can sympathise more with why she has become so bitter and why she isn't overly impressed with men, when she writes about men she has met at work and in life I can fully understand her. I am definitely becoming bitter in sympathy with her.

I will give you an example of a conversation she had with an ex colleague. At her own leaving dinner where the male colleague got promoted and she didn't even get her contract renewed even though he pitched an idea to the bosses that she had pitched only a day or so before and the bosses didn't like it, but when the male colleague pitched, they loved it.
I would be bitter too, I wouldn't be the bigger person and leave gracefully, I would break anything breakable in that managers office then cut his silly little tie off or something else immature.
But back to the conversation at her leaving do.
The male colleague says that when people hear that he owns a flat in Bangkok they automatically think he visits prostitutes on a regular basis, when in fact he hasn't been to a prostitute for at least 10 years!
When the male colleague realises that Sara (our leading lady) is not laughing or finding this very funny at all he tries to excuse himself by saying that he never, never went to a Thai prostitute whilst being in a relationship, he never cheated on anyone with a prostitute!
When Sara explains that she doesn't care about if he cheats or not, but she feels extremely uncomfortable to hear "that he has used poor Thai women who are forced to prostitute themselves to survive" she also asks the male colleague "how it feels to fuck someone who has to do it to earn money, but isn't in the slightest horny herself"

The male colleague tries to defend himself and explain that if you have never been to Thailand you wont understand, because they have a completely different culture than we have in Europe.
When asked if he really thinks it is a part of the Thai culture to sell themselves he says that "these are girls who don't want to sweat in a laundry 12 hours a day, so they are just being smart"
At this point Sara stands up and leaves the party.
And I don't blame her, I am still terribly upset about what I read, because even if the book was to be fiction I think there are men (and to be fair, probably women as well) in this world who think that some women really want to be prostitutes and have sex with sweaty, bald men who are old enough to be their grandad.
So once again I understand, forgive and join her in her "bitter cuntness" (I know that isn't a real word...)
I will carry on reading about Sara and whereas I have more understanding about her bitterness, I hope for her own sake that she will mellow out a bit, I don't think it is good for one person to constantly feel that angry and bitter.

I feel the need for a cheap and cheerful movie before bedtime and an 11hrs shift at work tomorrow.



"The bitter cunt" from the tv show "Balls of steel"
Sorry, its in swedish and cant be translated.
Hope all Swedish people enjoy it in the chocking way I did.