The Peter Pan syndrome

Is it only men who can suffer from the Peter Pan syndrome?
The (I guess)fear of growing up?
I think I might suffer from it you see.
I'm thinking about last weekend with Teddy (best girl) and part of our conversations about her house and what she and her husband have done decorating wise etc etc.
We also talked about her friends who are in the process of selling two houses and buying another, bigger house, we talked about money and debts and other "grown up" things.
And it hit me that I am actually still living my life as a 22 year old, almost as if the 13 years in England has just been a (very long) gap year, and I have now come home to settle down and become an adult for real.

I have always struggled a bit in this area, I remember some of my classmates in college rolling their eyes at me and sighing "Oh just grow up.." and I always wondered what it felt like to be "a grown up" and feel responsible.

And I'm still not sure what it feels like.
I think I got stuck on 22, and I'm still enjoying it.
OK, so I don't go out clubbing like I did when I actually was 22, neither can I stay awake all night and still be fresh for work the next day (damn it!)
But my heart is still 22 in a way.

I did think that maybe I would feel grown up once i passed my driving test, but No, I didn't.
Then I thought: "Maybe once I start driving, then I will feel like a grown up?"
No I didn't.
At one point I thought, "I will probably feel more grown up once I'm married?"
Well, we won't find that out anytime soon, that's for sure.
Maybe if I have a baby I will actually FEEL grown up?

And I remember asking my mum once, what it was that made her feel like a grown up and she giggled and said "I still don't"
Right.
OK.

So maybe having a child doesn't guarantee you to feel grown up?
Maybe I will always be 33,35,40,50,60 going on 23?
Well that is ok as well I suppose.
If I turn out like my mum, I will be happy, because she doesn't take life too serious, she likes to laugh (which she does a lot, which is probably why she at 68 years of age still has no wrinkles to talk about) and she always sees the best in people.

But back to me and my possible syndrome.
Will I one day live in a nice house, with beautiful, grown up things around me?
Or will I carry on living in a suitcase so to say?
Never grow any roots?
Well, we shall see what the future holds for me, one thing I have learned during my "gap year" is that life is what happens while you are planning it, so don't plan too much, just live in today, but learn from your mistakes even if you have to make the same mistake twice, three times or even 14 times.
And the thing I know the most now is that I have definitely made the right decision in coming back home.
I feel happier for each day that passes, and I can't actually imagine ever going back now.
Life feels good.