A year of sadness

I'm not on top form today.
It is a year since a friend from school passed away in cervical cancer.
I hadn't seen or talked to her for 11 years or so, but Amina was one of those people that you would just pick up where you left the last time you met up.

I remember the day my mum called me and told me her death notice was in the paper, I was in my car, in between clients and I sat in my car for 30 Min's after we said goodbye and sobbed my heart out.
I thought I had pulled myself together but when I arrived to the little old lady with Alzheimer's I sat on her bed and cried some more and couldn't make myself get up and make her breakfast as I should have done.
The lady patted me on the shoulder and tried to comfort me, even though she probably didn't know who I was...

Even though me and Amina hadn't seen or spoken for a long time, I feel very sad today, I'm thinking of her family and close friends and hoping that they are coping today.

They have talked about her as a big inspiration and positive spirit, even when she knew she wouldn't survive.
A true hero.
Maybe its weird to say, since it was so long since I saw her, but I miss her.
And my heart is heavy when I think that she wont be at our reunion.
Her best friend, her "partner in crime" said that she would have loved it, and I would have loved for her to be there.

But I believe she is at a much better place now, but I also believe that she will be with us on the 13Th when the rest of us meet for a night out.
I don't think that we just disappear when we die, I believe we go to a better place, but that we still watch over our loved ones who are still here on earth.

I know that Aminas family and some of her friends have been down on the beach to drink, what I can only imagine was her favourite drink - Cava.
I didn't go down, but I think I will go down another time, maybe on my own or maybe with someone else, bring a bottle of Cava and toast to her, to her memory and to her life.
I don't think I will drink the whole bottle to myself, because I don't think I actually like it, or on the other hand I might surprise myself and love it.
Who knows?
Some one might see me stumble home one night this summer, tipsy on Cava?

I wonder what she would have thought about that?