Moody

I'm in a bit of a bad mood.
I'm not really sure why to be honest, but it might have something to do with the fact that I have just worked a 10 hrs shift.
Its not the 10 hrs in themselves that is annoying me, it is the fact that I have spent 10 hrs in a place I don't like and don't actually want to be.
I am also angry with myself for getting angry with the Swedish "system" when you don't work privately...
If there is a vacancy at a workplace, the position will go to the person who has been unemployed the longest..not to the person who is best suited for the job...
You obviously have to be qualified and have some interest in the work field, but it does mean that if a vacancy opened up at my place of work, someone who has never worked there might be forced to take that job, otherwise they wont get benefits anymore only because he/she has been unemployed longer than I have...

I don't know why I'm getting angry and annoyed, since I don't want a permanent position there, I'm bored to death and cant get motivated even a little bit.
So what do I actually want to do?

I will tell you:
I want to live outside the city, not completely out in the bush, to where no one can find their way, but a little outside.
I want to have a small farm house (but no animals, or maybe hens for eggs) or a cottage.
I will have a "pottery studio" where I make mugs and plates and bowls.
June, July and August I will run a cafe where I will serve simple but oh so delicious sandwiches and cinnamon rolls, on my home made china.
The rest of the year I will write books.
That's my dream, that's what I want to do.

I have a friend, who would say "OK, sounds cool. Do it"
But its not that easy to "just do it", I need finances, I would either need to win the lottery or find a dirty rich man who wouldn't mind supporting me (and dirty rich men very rarely have the urge for a somewhat bohemian girlfriend/wife)

So it looks like I'm, at least for a while, stuck with working for the government and writing on my free time, that's where everyone has started, isn't it?