Hormones...

Is it just me?
Who turns into a bit of a monster once a month?
No of course I'm not, and for that I am grateful, at least half of the earthly population understands me..

I am grumpy!
To say the least.
And today several people have been on the receiving end of my wrath.

After I came home from being stood up (I COULD have left a very nasty message on her answering machine, but chose not to since there is a small small risk of accident) I had started the very exciting task of shredding 13 years of paper work that I wont need living in Sweden. This in it self is NOT fun but then there was a very loud bang on the door followed by an intense ringing of the doorbell.
Which didn't end...
Who ever was out there was determined not to be ignored so I had to get up and go to the door.
I yanked the door open and stared at the postman.
"Hi there are you Maude? Ive got a parcel for you."
Something snapped in me there and then.
I felt the blood rush to my head and I let out a sort of "roar"...
"Do I look like my name is MAUDE??"
The poor man almost fell down the stairs...
"Erm sorry I don't know....I have a parcel here can you sign for it?"
"NO"
I did calm down a little bit but I point blank refused to take Maude's parcel and slammed the door in the postman's face.

Only to get to my senses as soon as i got back in my room.
I hoped he would still be out there so once again I yanked the door open and shouted "HEY WAIT"
In his face........he was still right outside the door...writing a note for Maude.....
I apologised and said that of course I would take her parcel and then tried to explain that I am on my period and my hormones are running riot....

He didn't say a word, just handed me the parcel and the pad to sign on...
Well...I cant be popular with everyone can I?

And unfortunately it doesn't stop there...
I went to have a shower.
And was AGAIN hit on the head by the shower curtain thingy...
It really hurt this time...So I called my landlady and shouted at her, telling her "That thing is a safety hazard!! And I could have been knocked unconscious (yeah right..) and if its not sorted this week I will report her to the tenancy union"

I don't actually know what "The tenancy union" is....
And I'm half expecting her to turn up here with staff from the mental unit in tow..they will talk calmly to me and then ask me to put on the nice white jacket they have brought just for me....

Hopefully it wont come to that...
And in America there are women who have been let off murder charges because they were on their periods...so surely a little shouting wont get me into too much trouble..?

But the last thing that has happened (well so far, the day isn't over yet) is that I got an email from my friend giving me details of her afternoon of passion with her boyfriend.
Whom I have met.
So now I have the image of them "bonking like rabbits on the kitchen table" (and chairs and floor...HER words! Not mine)
It is very disturbing and I am scarred for life!
That white jacket doesn't actually sound so bad now...

This has been a rather stressful day, I now need dinner and chill in front of the telly.
Hopefully my house mates will keep their distance while I prepare my food, I cant guarantee that i will keep calm...

All this stress because of hormones!
And men think they have a hard life...