The life we choose?

Do we really get to choose the life we want?
Is it that simple to "choose" the job we want, the job we want and the partner we want to share our life with and then we live happily ever after?
Yes to a certain extent of course we get to choose what we want from life, who we want as our friends and where we go on holiday.
But do we really choose who to love?

I recieved an email this morning from a friend, who said I need to "get a move on" if I want a family...
Oh right....I need to get a move on?
Thats all it takes?
Determination?

The men i dated before Him, everyone said I wasnt good enough for them, I wasnt pretty enough, or cool enough and I certainly didnt have trendy enough clothes to be "girl friend material." Their families apparently never approved of me and all thought that their son/brother/cousin could do so much better than someone like me.
The thing is, it wasnt prince William I was dating, these were normal guys with everyday 9-5 jobs, who went to the pub on fridays and had a take away on saturdays.


And then there was Him.
Who thought i was more than good enough for him.
I got on fine with his mum, his nan is a lovely lady and I could handle being in the same room as his dad for a few hours.
And then He proposed to me.
I honestly was on cloud nr 9...
Finally here was sommeone who loved me and cared for me and was prepared to make his commitment to me official.
We were planning for all our babies and what a big house we would need to fit them all in.

And then it was taken away from me.
Over night it was all in pieces and ruins.

That was not my choice...
I chose to get married, to start a family and live a peaceful life with my husband and children.
I did not chose to be forced into starting over again on my own at this point in my life.

I am not looking forward to getting any more emails, or phone calls, or meeting people who tell me I need to "get a move on"
I just feel I have had enough for one year, to have to explain to people that "No I wont be getting married after all, because yet again Im not good enough to committ to"

But no that is not my choice...