Priorities...

I have just read my friends blog, we were best friends when we were in school and looking back I wonder where i would have been today if we had never lost touch?
She writes so beautifully in her blog, both about her life today and things that she has experienced in the past which has made her the person she is today.

Today she wrote about her priorities for this week, and it made me think about my own priorities for myself in my life.
And I have none...
It is actually quite scary, because the only things that matters to me is that other people like me.
Everything I do in my life seems to be so that other people will tell me that I am good enough and I deserve to be here with them.
I am so desperate to please everyone around me, my parents, my friends, my boss(es), my colleagues, my ex, the bank manager, the woman behind the counter in my local shop... that I haven't actually got a clue what i want for myself anymore.

In my desperate attempt to get people to like me I have just made myself look a complete idiot i guess.
Don't get me wrong, I have friends.
Amazing, loyal, funny and great friends.
Who will do pretty much anything for me, but there is a small part of me that sometimes wonders "If I did this, for me, will they still love me?"
And if I have any doubt, then I wont do it.

Just to make the decision to move back to Sweden has caused me so much heartache and stress, "What if I cant please Swedish people" "What if my English friends will move on and forget about me?" "What if nobody likes me in Sweden?"

But I'm thinking, that maybe now is the time for me.
To think of my own priorities, what is important to me?
And maybe have a goal to achieve, set up a timeline for me to achieve it?

I'm gonna have to think about it, because as I said, I haven't got a clue of what would be important for myself.

Watch this space