Fate? Destiny?

I woke up feeling better this morning and actually see things a bit clearer.
Is it fate? or destiny?
Do we really have control of what happens in our life?
Can we actually use phrases such as "Its fate" or "Its my destiny"?
Since I am a romantic at heart I am torn between the romance of not being able to control your life, universe will let people into our lives when it see it suitable....and everyone will come to me for a reason and a purpose that has been decided by "the universe".
But then again, do I really want to live my life without having any kind of "say" myself?
Cant I decide for myself what i want to do and who i want in my life?
Is "destiny" and "fate" just a lazy mans way out of making a decision?
Should we not take some responsibility for our own lives?
To what happens to ourselves and the people around us?
And the fact that what we do will affect the people we love and care about, isn't that something we need to take responsibility for?

I talked to Him before going to sleep last night, I tried to get him to see that I don't actually like living in this house with 4 strangers who don't care about me and who I don't care about either....
And he said "that is not my fault"
I didn't say anything, but I felt: "Well it is a little bit your fault....had you not cancelled our wedding I wouldn't be living here now..."
I would be living with him, in our flat.....

So is this "fate"? or "destiny"?
Whats the difference?
Has this been a time to reflect and gather our thoughts?
Are we now ready to move on?
Is now the time when we want the same things in life?

Or can we just leave it in the hands of "fate"? and trust that we will be happy with the outcome?
Or do we actually need to take some responsibility for our own lives?

Will i ever really forgive him for cancelling the wedding?
Can I guarantee that I wont become bitter if he never asks me the question again?
And even if he did, would I be able to forget the past and trust that he wont do it again?

Maybe it is actually time for me to take responsibility for my life, and what i do with it?

And bring people into my life who can take responsibility for their own actions and wont stick their heads in the sand when "the going gets tough"...